The Rubicon, Part I
by LissaB
Summary: Adam returns from college to find that fitting in back at the Ponderosa isn't as easy as he'd hoped.
1. Chapter 1

**The Rubicon **

**Part I: **_**Rumblings of Civil War**_

_(references to the Civil War are strictly metaphorical)_

_**By Lissa B.**_

_**January 2000**_

_Many thanks to Ms. Gus Downey who encouraged me and stopped me from shoving the whole thing into the shredder and to Ms. Michelle Kille, who helped me in spite of myself. It is a much better story because of her._

_**Chapter 1**_

"ADAM!"

Adam Cartwright paused his long strokes with the curry brush and winced.

"Coming, Pa!" he yelled back.

He ran his hand down the neck of the tall chestnut gelding in front of him. "Sorry, Sport," he murmured. "Going to have to cut this a little short today."

He would have preferred to stay in the barn, caring for his horse, but his father hated it when they were late for dinner and he didn't want to invite any questions about his tardiness. He checked the food and water and ran his hands over Sport again to be sure he was cooled and comfortable.

"ADAM!"

He gave Sport a final pat and hurried out of the barn. "Coming!" He nearly collided with his youngest brother just on the other side of the door.

"Pa sent me to fetch you. He's gettin' mad." Joe looked a little smug.

"Okay, okay, I'm coming." Adam reached down automatically to ruffle his little brother's hair, remembered just in time that Joe's eleven year old dignity didn't take well to that lately, and patted his shoulder instead.

Joe shrugged off his hand and hurried inside ahead of him.

Adam sighed. He was just making points all over the place lately. He followed at a slower pace. "Sorry, Pa," he said apologetically as he tossed his hat on the sideboard and slid into his seat. "Took me a little longer out on the range today."

His father fixed him with a stern eye. "And why is that? Problems?"

Adam unfolded his napkin and avoided his gaze. "No problems. Just took a while."

"Good. How are the men working out?"

Adam felt his stomach do a flip-flop. _Did he actually know anything, or was he just fishing? _"Fine," he said noncommittally, trying to keep his expression neutral.

"Well, try to be on time for dinner. You keep the whole family waiting when you're late."

"Yes, sir."

Hoss threw Adam a questioning glance and he frowned and shook his head slightly in return. "How are things going at the mill?"

Ben took the serving platter from Hop Sing. "Oh, fine, fine…a mighty ambitious schedule though. No room for mistakes." He served himself and passed the platter to Hoss. "Knox, the foreman, seems to know what he's doing, though. He's tough, but the men seem to follow him."

Adam nodded, pleased to have successfully diverted the conversation.

Hoss met his eyes significantly as he handed him the platter in turn and Adam shrugged slightly. Hoss looked back at his plate, his expression uneasy.

"Well, you're all very quiet tonight." Ben observed, digging into his meal with vigor. "Joseph, how was school today?"

Joe scowled. "Okay," he said grudgingly.

"Not kept after again, were you?" Ben watched surreptitiously from under his lashes for the lightning exchange of glances that would tell him the answer before anyone spoke.

None came – everyone's eyes were firmly affixed to their respective plates.

_Hmph. Worse than he thought_. "Joseph…?"

Joe glared at Adam. "You told him."

Adam smiled a little. "No, but I think you just did."

"Don't compound matters by quarreling, Joseph. It wasn't hard to guess – it's not as though it's the first time. What was it today?"

Joe mumbled something.

"Clearly. Please."

"Didn't finish my homework."

Ben waited.

Joe squirmed uncomfortably.

Ben raised his eyebrows at him.

"There was a mouse in Emma Springer's desk," he said at last.

"I see." Ben put down his napkin. "And how did it get there?"

Joe looked up at him quickly and then back at his plate. "Some o' the fellas…"

"And by 'some of the fellas'," Ben prodded "I assume you mean 'you'?"

Joe stuck out his lower lip. "It was just a little field mouse, Pa. Wouldn'ta hurt nobody."

"Anybody," Ben corrected "But then, you'd know that if you'd done your homework." He turned his gaze to his oldest son who was suddenly deeply interested in his dinner. "And you knew about this?" It wasn't really a question.

Adam shot him a quick glance and returned his eyes to his plate. "Yes, sir."

"And you didn't see fit to tell me about it?"

"Well, I did just get home, Pa…"

"So you did. And I suppose this accounts for your being late as well?"

Now it was Adam's turn to squirm. "Not entirely, Pa. I did have to return to the pasture to finish up a couple of things…" He hated evasive tactics. He wondered if it showed on his face.

"Which you would have gotten to sooner if you hadn't been waiting for your brother to get out of school so you could ride home with him, is that right?"

Adam opened his mouth to answer, then hesitated, wondering what the heck to say. It was true, of course, as far as it went, but -

Help came from an unexpected quarter. "I don't need anybody to ride home with me. I'm not a baby."

"That's enough out of you, Joseph."

"He's right you know, Pa." Even as he said it, Adam wondered why he couldn't just learn to keep his mouth shut.

Ben fixed him with a steely eye. "I have managed to raise three sons this far, Adam, without your advice. I'm sure I'm able to finish the job all right."

The words lay uneasily between them and Ben was immediately sorry. That was unfair, and more importantly, untrue. After each of their successive mothers' deaths Adam had had almost as much part in raising Hoss and Joe as Ben had himself. He glanced at his two younger boys as Hoss and Joe became very busy with their food and continued more mildly, "You weren't riding all the way to school alone when you were eleven."

Adam recognized the implicit apology and turned up one side of his mouth. "That's because there was no school here when I was eleven. But I was responsible for looking out for Hoss. Younger, even."

"That was necessary. Not necessarily desirable."

"And when Hoss was eleven he was riding to school without me and looking out for Joe. It's not like he goes far alone - he meets up with the Devlins not a mile from here. I just don't see why it's different, Pa."

Ben saw his youngest shoot him a quick glance to see if he was softening. Despite himself he smiled a little. Impossible to explain to his sons that it was different because Joe was his baby and that admitting he was old enough to ride to school alone meant admitting that there really was no baby anymore. It was bad enough that Adam had returned from Boston a full grown man he hardly recognized and that Hoss was now out on the range every day, indistinguishable from the other men in his hard work and discipline. If Joseph was shooting toward adulthood…he sighed, picking up his fork again, thoroughly irritated with himself. "I'll think about it," he said at last.

Little Joe gave a squeak of glee.

"I said I'd THINK about it," Ben repeated warningly. "Now finish your supper and then I'll sit with you while you do your homework. Or maybe your brother will show off some of his college education and give you a hand."

Little Joe groaned and Ben eyed him sternly. "Manners, young man, or I'll STOP thinking about it."

Adam pushed away his plate. "I'm about done, Pa. May I be excused?"

Ben raised his eyebrows. "No dessert?"

"I'll have mine later. I didn't really finish putting up Sport."

Ben eyed him thoughtfully, but nodded. "All right. But don't blame me if you're in Hop Sing's bad books."

"No, sir." He was out of his seat and out of the door almost before Ben could stop speaking, only pausing to grab an apple from the fruit bowl on the table in front of the massive fireplace. Outside on the porch he paused and took a deep breath. The evening air was quiet and still with just a hint of coolness, the first few stars showing their faces in the sky. He moved toward the barn at a more contemplative pace.

Sport nickered to him softly even before he had a chance to light the lantern and he smiled, rooting out grooming tools. "You never change, do you boy?" He moved into Sport's stall, offering him the apple. "Brought you something."

Sport sniffed appreciatively, then chomped away half the apple in one bite. Adam laughed, rubbing his ears affectionately. "Don't choke yourself."

Sport heedlessly devoured the rest of the apple, pushing his nose insistently into Adam's palm.

"Sorry. That's it, fella." He moved alongside him and began working a curry brush down his neck.

Sport contentedly blew air through his nostrils.

Well, that was something. He was making somebody happy anyway_._ He flipped Sport's mane out of his way as he moved the brush higher and felt the horse's skin ripple with pleasure under his hands. If only it was this easy with everyone else.

The sound of the barn door opening came as no surprise and he didn't even bother to look up as footsteps approached the next stall.

"The way you been groomin' that there animal he's lucky ta have any coat left."

Adam smiled, making his way down Sport's flank. "Yeah? Well, what did _you_ come in here for then?"

"Figger Chubb's likely jealous o' all the attention Sport's been gettin'. Don't need you showin' me up."

Adam reached for another curry brush, tossed it to him.

Hoss snatched it easily out of the air.

"I've been without a mount for four years. You'd be surprised how much you miss it."

Hoss stroked Chubb's nose. "I reckon. Rode him for ya while you was gone - first couple o' years anyway."

Adam grinned. "Well, if you stopped riding him when you got to your current size I'm grateful. Shame if you foundered the poor critter on me." Hoss had always been large, even as a baby, but it had still come as a shock to Adam, over six foot himself, to return from Boston to find his little brother a good two inches taller and God-only-knew-how-many wider than he was.

Hoss returned the grin good-naturedly. "Naw, left that ta more dainty folk. I need a real man's mount, like ol' Chubby here."

Adam threw the dandy cloth at him.

Hoss ducked, then picked it up and hung it over the stall divider.

They worked in silence for a while, enjoying the rhythmic action. As Adam was exchanging his curry brush for a comb he finally said, "Why don't you just say whatever's on your mind."

Hoss pursed his lips. "Ain't none o' my business, I reckon…"

"Go ahead."

Hoss stopped currying Chubb and leaned against his broad back. "Adam, I think you oughta talk ta Pa."

Adam struggled with a tangle in Sport's mane. "I can't, Hoss."

Hoss stopped pretending to groom Chubb and moved around to rest his forearms on Sport's stall. "You don't gotta do everythin' yerself, Adam."

Adam frowned. "It's not that, Hoss." He saw Hoss's skeptical look and grinned in spite of himself. "Well, not only that," he amended.

Hoss waited.

Adam hesitated, searching for the right words. After a minute he gave Sport a pat and moved around him to lean against his side of the stall wall opposite Hoss. "Hoss, I've been gone east for four years. Most of the cowhands here now don't know me and even the ones that do, remember me mostly as a kid. They think I've only got the job because I'm Pa's son, that I've gone soft or snooty or I don't know what all, but if I'm ever going to have their confidence - if they're ever going to follow me and respect me - then I've got to prove myself. That takes time. If I go to Pa and he steps in for me - well, how's that gonna look? Like everything they think is true. I'll lose any chance I have of winning them over."

Hoss's broad face scrunched into a frown. "Reckon there's somethin' ta what ya say at that. Been three months, though. How long ya figger it's gonna take?"

Adam sighed, thinking of how many times over the past months he'd asked himself the same question. "As long as it does, I guess."

"Humph." Hoss pulled at his ear, looking unhappy. "Anythin' I can do ta help?"

Adam shrugged, absently stroking Sport's cheek. "You already are. You pretty much do the work of three men. Since I can barely get the others to do the work of one that's a big help."

"Maybe you could talk ta Pa and just ask fer advice. Tell him ta stay outta it."

Adam looked at him. "And just how likely is that, do you suppose?"

Hoss thought about their father and made a face. "Reckon yer right. What ya expect ta do if they really start draggin'?"

"I don't think they will - they just want to give me a hard time, they don't want to get fired. If they do - " he shrugged again, wishing he had an answer. "Guess I'll have to figure it out when the time comes."

Hoss shook his head. "Glad I ain't in yer boots, brother."

Adam nodded moodily, suddenly restless. On impulse, he grabbed Sport's blanket and threw it over his back.

Hoss watched him incredulously. "You ain't thinkin' a goin' ridin', are ya?"

"Why not? Full moon."

"You just finished puttin' that critter up! You gonna take him out and then start all over again?"

"Nice night. I always liked riding at night."

"Brother, you are plumb loco." He watched Adam fetch a bridle and slide it over Sport's head. "Pa's gonna kill you."

"Yeah, well…" Adam finished buckling the bridle and went to get his saddle.

Hoss studied him, still shaking his head. "Better not be long if'n yer gonna put in a full day tomorra - specially if'n you gotta keep cleanin' up after them hands."

"I won't. It'll help me sleep."

Hoss held Sport's head while Adam tightened the cinch. "Want some company?"

Adam looked up from the cinch, his smile grateful. _Good old Hoss_. That was something else that hadn't changed. Oh, on the outside, of course - the enormous size and deeper voice were new - but Hoss was still his staunch supporter. Quietly, but invariably. "Thanks, Hoss. I was kind of hoping for a little time alone. Besides, no point in Pa killing both of us."

Hoss sighed deeply as he watched him lead Sport out of his stall, trailing him out of the barn. "Suit yerself. I'll leave the lantern turned low fer ya. If yer still alive after Pa gets done with ya I'll see ya at breakfast."

Adam nodded, giving him a quick clap on the shoulder and vaulting easily into the saddle even as Sport broke into a trot. He pulled Sport up for a minute. "Oh, and Hoss - "

Hoss looked at him questioningly.

"Don't eat my dessert." He gave Hoss a wink as Sport's impatient dancing in place gave way to a canter and he rode into the deepening twilight.

"I ain't makin' no promises!" Hoss called after him.

He blew out his breath as his eyes followed his brother, then looked back at the ranch house and winced a little. Might as well go back and finish rubbing down Chubb. Not that he really needed it, but it was a sure bet that Chubb was pleasanter company than Pa was gonna be.

He was in no hurry to go back inside.

000

Adam was tempted to press Sport into a gallop, then thought better of it and let him lope along at an easy canter. Too fast or too long and he'd be half the night cooling him down again.

The night was beautiful, silent except for the musical sounds of the night creatures, the moon bright and full. Just a short ride - just enough to give him some breathing space - then he'd go back.

He'd missed this during his four years in the big city, more than he'd ever thought possible - missed the easy understanding between rider and mount, the quiet companionship.

During his teen years Sport had probably heard more of his problems than any other living creature. He wondered if he felt up to listening to a few now.

He eased him down to a trot to let him cool a little. He could just make out the shadows of the mountains in the distance. He'd done a lot of night riding there once upon a time. Pa had been about ready to kill him for it, probably wouldn't be too happy with him tonight either. He furrowed his brows at the thought.

Since his return, his relationship with his father had the earmarks of an armed truce. It wasn't that Adam didn't respect him, but in the four years of living back east with his grandfather he'd gotten used to making his own decisions.

Not that his grandfather had been a pushover - he smiled a little, remembering some of his stormy lectures. A retired sea captain of daunting manner and formidable temper, he was fully able to rattle the rafters when he'd felt it necessary to make a point, but, within certain restrictions, Adam had still had a lot of freedom. Even the demanding college schedule had been more flexible than ranch work. There were no animals that needed to be tended to no matter what time of day or day of the week, no seasons or weather conditions dictating the length of the workday. In ranching, Mother Nature called the shots and she was a relentless and merciless mistress.

Well, he could have stayed in Boston. His grandfather had been more than willing and he'd had job opportunities if he'd wanted them. It had been his decision to come back and he didn't regret it, not exactly. He just hadn't expected everything to be so - what? Different? Just plain hard?

The problem with the ranch hands was struggle enough. He'd known all along he'd have to prove himself there - he'd had to do it before, when he was only seventeen and had taken over for his father after Marie, his stepmother, died. He'd managed, in time. Of course, then at least he'd been familiar to them. And probably, he admitted to himself, they'd felt a little sorry for him - stepmother dead, Pa in a deep depression, two brothers and a ranch to look after. No chance of sympathy this time, that was for sure.

The first couple of months with Pa bossing the range hadn't been too bad. Then this big lumber contract had come along and Pa had left him in charge of the range to free himself to run the timber camps. The resentment of older, more seasoned hands had been almost immediate. They mistrusted his fancy education and resented his sudden intrusion and it wasn't going to be easy to get past that.

He turned Sport toward home at a walk.

And then there was Little Joe. The difference there troubled him most of all. The seven year old that he'd read stories to, sung to sleep, and taken fishing had become a surly and distant eleven year old who barely had a civil word for him.

_Maybe he'd been gone too long. Missed too much_. He'd loved college, loved traveling and studying, loved what he'd gained. But when he thought of all he might have lost, his heart ached.

He sighed a little. Maybe he was taking it too personally. Maybe it was just the age. He tried to remember himself at eleven. Pa had just married Marie, and oh, how he'd resented her. He pulled Sport up, suddenly thoughtful. Angry at her intrusion into his family, terrified that he'd learn to care for her only to lose her as he had his own mother and Inger, surly and distant were certainly words that would have applied to him as well. And maybe, just maybe, that was how Joe felt about him.

He smiled to himself. _Well, Marie, wherever you are, I hope you're enjoying this. Looks like the joke's on me. _

He loosened the reins and let Sport make his own way home.

It was ironic, really. He'd spent two years on the ranch trying to prove he was responsible enough to go east to college, four years in Boston trying to prove that a hick cowboy could hold his own with a bunch of prep school boys, and now he was right back where he started - trying to prove that an eastern educated college graduate could still make a good cowhand. Funny, if you thought about it.

But somehow or other, he just didn't feel like laughing.

_TBC_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Chapter 2**_

"Hi, Pa. You didn't have to wait up for me." He had eased the ranch house door open quietly, hoping to make his way up to bed unnoticed, when he'd spotted his father ensconced in his chair by the fire. At least he didn't look angry.

"I wasn't waiting up. Just got caught up in this book."

Adam glanced at the book, noticed he couldn't be more than three pages in and lifted his eyebrows, but made no comment.

Ben caught his look and his mouth twisted into a wry smile. He closed the book resignedly and cleared his throat. "I'd almost forgotten about you and your night rides. Don't suppose you were hunting raccoon with Young Wolf this time?"

Adam smiled back, perching on the arm of the settee, and shook his head. "Haven't even seen Young Wolf since I got back. Not that I think he still hunts raccoon."

"That's what used to get you out. That, and your problems. Was always a sure sign something was eating at you." Ben looked up at him searchingly.

Adam felt himself flush and shifted his gaze to the fire, taken off guard by such a direct approach. "Still adjusting, I guess."

"Anything special you're finding it hard to adjust to?"

Adam hesitated, trying to think of a way to ask him about Joe without making him feel defensive or the hands without making him want to fix it. At a loss, he finally said, "Nothing special."

Ben looked unconvinced, but said, "Hop Sing managed to rescue your pie from Hoss. Better eat it or you'll hurt his feelings."

"Thanks." Adam got up to go to the kitchen, happy to escape the discomfort of his father's scrutiny.

"Bring mine too, will you? And I think there's still coffee."

Adam paused with his hand on the door. "You didn't eat yours?"

"Thought you might like some company."

Adam pushed his way into the kitchen before he allowed himself a reluctant smile. So. Pa knew perfectly well that something was bothering him and he also knew that sitting alone with him in the quiet by the fire was almost guaranteed to make him spill everything. He shook his head as he loaded pie and coffee on a tray. He considered Hoss's suggestion, then discarded it. _No. _If he was ever going to have a chance of making a life here he was going to have to take care of this himself.

He picked up his tray and made his way back into the great room. "If Hop Sing managed to save both our desserts from Hoss he must have had a rough night."

Ben poured himself coffee. "Hop Sing holds his own with your brother. And speaking of brothers, you don't need to worry about getting Joseph into town to school tomorrow. He's going to try it by himself."

Adam looked up quickly.

"Oh, you look pleased now, but if he uses it as an excuse to wander off or skip school or get himself in trouble you won't be smiling because I'll be sending you to take care of it. Remember, this was your idea, that makes it your responsibility."

"Yes, sir."

"And I have yet to meet anyone who can find more ways to get into trouble more quickly than Joseph. Not that you did too badly in your time. Which is why, I assume, you had no intention of telling me about the mouse?"

Adam stirred his coffee and smiled a little. "I kept thinking about those frogs I put in Louise's desk and all the trouble it got me into."

"Richly deserved, I might add," Ben said sternly, but his eyes were twinkling. "Miss Boston?"

Adam swallowed his bite of pie abruptly, a little off balance from the quick change in subject. His father was good at this, he'd forgotten how good. Of course, he'd had plenty of practice. "Some," he ventured cautiously.

"Must seem quiet."

"I like the quiet. Miss Grandfather, of course. And the walk to a bookstore was a whole lot shorter in Boston." He hesitated, glancing at his father a little shyly. "I felt close to my mother there."

Ben nodded, his expression faintly pained. "Boston and your mother will always go together for me, too. I'm glad you got to see where we met and courted, where she was raised…" he trailed off, but they both knew he was thinking _'where she was buried.'_

So Adam said simply, "Visited there a lot. To talk."

Ben nodded again, his expression far away.

Adam winced, wishing he hadn't brought it up. "Of course, here I can visit Marie," he offered, poking at his pie. "Got to tell her I finished, with honors. Figured she'd want to know she'd gotten her way. But Marie always got her way. Must be where Joe gets it."

This time Ben smiled a little and Adam gave a small sigh of relief. He sometimes wondered how his father had survived burying three wives. He felt as though he'd barely survived it himself.

Deciding this conversation was taking a distinctly uncomfortable turn, he put his coffee cup on the tray and stood up abruptly. "I'd better get to bed if I'm going to be any good tomorrow. You done, Pa?"

Ben looked up at him, mildly frustrated. He hadn't gotten anywhere, not really. Getting Adam to open up took more patience and finesse than green-breaking a skittish colt and he was out of practice. "Yes, thank you, son," he said resignedly. "Don't worry about the tray. I'll take care of it."

Adam hesitated. "You sure?"

"Sure. Get some sleep."

"All right. Night, Pa."

"Good night, son."

Adam made his escape up the stairs at just a little bit faster than his normal pace. As he entered his bedroom he could hear Hoss snoring lustily in the next room and smiled as he closed the door behind him. He slipped out of his clothes and picked up the book on his night table, turning the lantern low. He frowned at it. Sure hadn't gotten very far. For a man who devoured books it was taking him a long time to make his way into this one. He seemed to fall asleep every night before he'd even finished a page or two.

Tonight the words seemed to be running together by the first paragraph and he finally tossed it aside, exasperated, twisting to look at the new stack sitting untouched on his desk. At this rate he'd never get to read them.

He spotted his guitar leaning against his desk, Marie's last birthday present to him, one of the precious possessions he hadn't dared risk transporting to Boston. He wouldn't mind a little music, but it was too late to play without disturbing everyone. On impulse, he looked back at his night table and picked up his dearest keepsake, the other precious thing he'd left behind. His mother's music box. Except for an old copy of "Paradise Lost" and her picture, it was his only tangible tie to her. Well, not counting his father and grandfather, of course. The only thing that was his alone, though. He lifted the lid.

The faint, familiar tinkling of an old waltz filled the room and he tucked his arm behind his head to listen, his eyes studying his mother's picture, wondering if it would have been any easier to talk to her. _Maybe_. Once he and Marie had finally developed a rapport he'd found himself going to her with his problems. He wondered what she'd have to say about this one.

Ben heard the music when he came up the stairs a short time later and paused outside Adam's door. For a full five years after Liz's death he had been unable to hear that sound without a rush of rage and grief – for himself, for Adam, for Liz and all she'd missed. It had been Inger who had changed that – Inger with her calm, sensible, down-to-earth heart. Now he heard it with a warm bloom of memory and only the faintest of pangs. He paused with his hand on Adam's door. He had told himself repeatedly lately that it was ridiculous to keep looking in on the boys before bed. With the exception of Joseph, they were well past the age – but the music box made a perfect excuse if Adam was still awake and looked likely to take umbrage.

He eased the door open. No, Adam was fast asleep. The lamp needed dousing, too. He moved silently to the night table and gently eased the music box lid closed. Adam didn't stir. The thin pool of lamplight illuminated both Elizabeth's picture and Adam's face and he couldn't suppress a smile at the resemblance. Impulsively, he reached down to rest his hand on his son's dark head, a caress that would've never been tolerated in wakefulness. Adam muttered in his sleep and turned over, throwing off the covers.

Ben sighed, wondering what he was dreaming about. Good things, he hoped. He bent down to blow out the lamp, catching the distant, resonant sound of Hoss's snores through the walls. Ben pulled the covers back up over Adam's shoulders, chuckling softly to himself.

Why pretend? That would be his next stop.

000

Adam counted to ten, slowly. He seemed to be doing a lot of that these days. His grandfather had always told him that a man who controls his temper controls the world. He figured he had a long way to go before he controlled either.

He took a deep breath. "I seem to recall we had a conversation about this barbed wire just yesterday," he pointed out with controlled quiet.

Curly Froman shifted his feet, but his eyes remained blank. "Mebbe we did."

Adam counted to ten again. "Then why is it still here?"

Curly took off his hat and scratched his head. "Gosh, I jest cain't figger."

"Dadburn it, Curly, Adam done told you yesterday ta get this stuff outta here and down to the south pasture fer fence repair. That some animal ain't got hisself tangled up in it is just pure luck."

Curly switched his gaze to Hoss and this time there was a hint of a smirk there. "Yeah? Well, I figger some folks are jest born lucky."

Hoss took a step forward.

"Hoss - " Adam moved quickly in front of him. "Hoss, take two men and see if you can't get those stragglers rounded up and driven down here. I'd like that done before sundown."

Hoss narrowed his eyes at him. "Dadgum it, Adam - "

"Hoss." Adam met his eyes squarely. "Please." Hoss didn't budge. "Now."

Hoss scowled, his eyes moving from Curly to his brother. "Anythin' you say, Adam," he said at last.

"Thanks." Adam waited until he had walked away with only one backward glare for Curly, before turning back. "All right. Let's try this again, so there's no misunderstanding. I want that barbed wire moved up to the south pasture. I want it moved in time for the men I sent up there to start working - about two hours from now. It shouldn't take any longer than that. Is there anything about that that's unclear?"

Curly's eyes went blank again. "Reckon not."

"Then we're agreed that in two hours time this barbed wire will be in the south pasture. By the fence. Intact and available to the fence crew."

Curly shrugged.

Adam clenched his jaw. "Are - we - agreed?"

Curly pursed his lips and looked at some point over Adam's head. After a moment he nodded.

"Good."

Curly was still standing there, gazing into space.

Adam's jaw hurt from clenching his teeth so hard but he willed himself to keep his temper. "Then you'd better get moving."

Curly shrugged again, ambling nonchalantly toward the barbed wire.

Adam closed his eyes and took a deep breath. _One. Two. Three…_He made his way toward Sport.

Curly was circling the barbed wire as though he'd never seen any before.

_Four. Five…_Adam stopped. "Is there a problem?"

Curly looked up, his expression vapid astonishment. "No, sir, _Mr._ Cartwright. I'm jest a-gonna transport this here wire."

_Six. Seven._ The slight emphasis on "mister" was not lost on Adam. _EIGHT, damn it…_"Then do it."

"Yes, sir." Curly somehow managed to be obsequious and insolent at the same time.

_Nine…oh, to hell with it._ Adam planted his feet and hooked his thumbs in his gunbelt. "You have ten seconds."

Curly straightened slowly, his expression suddenly alive. Clearly this was just what he had been waiting for. "Oh, yeah? And what you gonna do if'n I don't?"

Adam gave him a humorless smile. "Why don't you try it and find out?"

Curly grinned. "All right, boy. Let's see what yer made of. Reckon I already got a pretty good idee." He took a swing.

Adam ducked it easily, neatly blocking the follow up with his left.

Curly's eyes narrowed.

Adam smiled sweetly. "You're going to have to do better than that."

Curly erupted with a cloud of profanity, throwing himself at Adam, sending them both piling into the dust.

Adam got him by the collar, pulled back his arm to deliver a crushing blow to the jaw - and found himself holding air. There had been a tremendous cracking thud of fist on flesh and Curly had flown off of him before he could even swing. Adam sat up slowly, first perplexed, then sudden conviction dawning.

"Hoss!" he bellowed.

Hoss stood rubbing his fist, looking defiant and chagrined at the same time.

"Damn it, Hoss!" Adam leapt to his feet,_ "I_ wanted to do that!"

Hoss looked sheepish. "Sorry, Adam. But I done had just about enough o' his lip."

Adam brushed the dust from his jeans with more violence than effectiveness. "I thought I asked you to go after those stragglers?"

"I was just on my way, Adam."

Adam opened his mouth for a scorching retort and caught sight of Curly, eyes wide and cheek swelling, crabbing hastily backwards, his eyes never leaving Hoss. He looked back at Hoss, his huge fists hanging loose by his sides, his expression as penitent as a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

He couldn't help it. He laughed. Curly's expression became even more frantic and Adam dropped down on a pile of fence rails and laughed harder.

Hoss looked at him with some concern.

Curly looked at him with something close to panic.

He took a deep breath and got ahold of himself, rubbing away a smile and letting his elbows rest on his knees. "You need a hand up, Curly?"

Curly shook his head cautiously, climbing slowly to his feet. "No, sir," he mumbled. "Reckon I'll see ta that barbed wire." He sidled toward it, giving Hoss a wide berth, hefting it quickly and easily into the wagon and climbing aboard. He slapped the reins and took off with as much speed as dignity would permit.

Hoss sat down heavily next to Adam. He cleared his throat. "Sorry, brother. Reckon I did ya more harm than good."

Adam shrugged. "What did you come back for?"

Hoss looked uncomfortable. "That Curly Froman's a hot head." He paused, squirming a little. "You gonna tell Pa?"

"What, that I need my little brother to fight my battles for me? I won't if you won't."

"I know you kin fight yer own battles, Adam."

"That's why you came back, huh?"

Hoss wrinkled his nose and looked miserable. "Temper got the better o' me, I reckon."

"I '_reckon'_ it did." Adam grinned suddenly. "Heck of a right, brother."

Hoss chuckled. "Somethin' I kin do ta make it up to ya?"

Adam pushed him lightly and stood up. "Yeah. Go see to those stragglers."

Hoss bobbed his head. "Yes, sir."

"Very funny." Adam watched him go for a moment and then made his way back to Sport.

It felt good to have his brother stand up for him, but…he mounted briskly and turned Sport around, wincing a little.

But Hoss was right. Well intended or not, he'd probably done him more harm than good.

_TBC_

_Sorry for the delay. But now I get to read everybody else's stuff! __J_


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: All right, I have to go out tonight and I don't know when I'll be home so I'm just going to post this now and catch up with my reviewers and enjoy some reading later. Thank you to all who reviewed and I'll be back to you soon!_

_**Chapter 3**_

By the time Adam made his way back to the ranch for supper he was bone weary. He led Sport into the barn, brooding about the events of the day.

He'd made his way down to the south pasture to check on the fence repairs before heading home and sure enough, the barbed wire was right where it belonged. Curly had finally done his part. Unfortunately, Deever and Clyde hadn't quite done theirs and there was a big gap where another level of wire needed to be strung. He'd started to remedy it, but he couldn't manage by himself. He'd have to drag them back up tomorrow and make them finish it right. Lord only knew what would be left partly done somewhere else while his attention was there.

He loosened Sport's cinch, shaking his head. Well, he had to hand it to them. They were pretty ingenious. Never let quite enough slip that it could cause serious problems and alert his father, never were quite rebellious enough that he felt he had grounds for firing. Not that he was looking to fire anybody. He was hoping it wouldn't come to that. He undid Sport's cinch.

He had to give them points on teamwork, too. While someone kept him busy solving one problem someone else was always creating another. They would really be able to accomplish a lot if he could ever get them to work with him instead of against him.

He started to pull the saddle, then paused, frowning. Something about the barn was bothering him and he couldn't put his finger on it. He looked around more carefully, then it struck him.

_Oh, no. No, no, no, no._

He hurried out of the barn and glanced hopefully in the corral. He saw Hoss walking up, leading Chubb.

"Got them stragglers all taken care of, pretty as you please, Adam," he said cheerfully.

Adam nodded, barely hearing him. "Hoss, have you seen Joe?"

Hoss looked surprised. "No. Ain't he here?"

Adam shook his head. "Shadow's not in the barn or the corral. Would you check with Hop Sing?"

Hoss nodded, handing him Chubb's reins and striding into the house. Adam secured Chubb at the hitching rail and paced back to the barn and Sport's stall. "Sorry about this, fella. I know you've earned a rest, but I don't have time to start from scratch with another horse."

Hoss entered the barn as he was tightening the cinch again. "Hop Sing ain't seen 'im."

Adam swore softly. "The only good news is Buck isn't here, so Pa's still out, too. You ride over to Devlins' and see if he's there. I'm going to follow the road into town and see if I meet him on the way."

"Sure thing." He hesitated at the set look on Adam's face. "I know you're mad, Adam, but he could be in trouble."

"He'd better be," Adam muttered grimly as he led Sport back out of the barn. Hoss looked so distressed he relented a little. "Look, he's probably been kept after school again. I'm just going to get him back here - before Pa gets home, I hope. Otherwise Pa's going to be deciding which one of us to whip first. If you find him, get him home and I'll be back as soon as I can." He remounted.

"What'll I tell Pa if he gits here first?"

Adam kneed Sport forward. "I don't know, but make it good!"

His first impulse was to press Sport into a gallop, but the horse had already had a hard day and wearing him into a lather wouldn't solve anything so they made their way at an easy lope, Adam scanning the roadside for any sign of Joe. With luck, he was with the Devlins, but given the quality of his luck lately he wasn't counting on it. As they reached Virginia City he dropped the pace to a resigned walk, figuring Sport was probably about as tired as he was himself.

The schoolhouse was near the center of town and his approach showed him Shadow still tied outside. He released his breath in a rush of air.

_Well, he was all right – that was something, anyway. All right for now - until his big brother got his hands on him._

He stopped Sport alongside Shadow and dismounted slowly. John Lawson, his old teacher, had been replaced, taking a well-deserved retirement. Joe's teacher was a new one - a Miss? - Miss Jones. That was it. Abigail Jones. He had seen her a few times at church and at an occasional social, and he had a vague impression of a prim, fastidious woman with rather prominent blue eyes, somewhere about his own age.

He looked down at himself and grimaced, realizing that he hadn't cleaned up at all since coming in from the pasture. Not exactly the best way to present himself to a lady, especially a lady he was hoping to coax into letting him spring Joe. Wiping the worst of the dirt from his hands on the front of his vest he removed his hat and made a quick pass at straightening his hair. _Well, that was going to have to do_…he took a deep breath and trudged to the schoolhouse door.

Miss Abigail was sitting at her desk with her head down, reading. Joe sat alone at one of the double desks, swinging his legs impatiently and writing something.

Adam cleared his throat.

Miss Abigail looked up and Joe twisted in his seat, his face brightening for a minute, then dissolving into a scowl. Miss Abigail hurried to her feet. "Why, Adam Cartwright!"

Adam nodded politely. "Miss Jones. I hope you'll forgive my appearance, but I came here straight from the range. I was hoping to collect Joe." He made his way down the aisle to Miss Abigail's desk, offering her his most charming smile.

Miss Abigail returned his smile with interest. "There's never any shame in the dirt of honest toil, Mr. Cartwright," she said graciously.

Adam breathed an inward sigh of relief. That was a good start. And there really was no distaste in her eyes - though there was something else there he couldn't quite put his finger on.

"But I'm afraid Joseph has been kept after school."

"I see." He let his gaze rest on Joe with mock severity. Joe ducked his head to hide a grin. "What seems to be the problem?"

"Joseph created a disruption in class this afternoon." She frowned at Joe disapprovingly.

Adam looked sympathetic. "Mouse again?"

"No." Miss Abigail deepened her frown at Joe. "Crickets. In Maisie Collins lunch pail."

Adam bit the inside of his cheek to keep from grinning and adjusted his face into stern lines. "That does sound disruptive."

"It certainly was. They hopped everywhere - half the girls were standing on benches screaming - it took me a full thirty minutes to restore order."

Adam choked a little and cleared his throat to cover it. "That sounds very bad." He didn't dare glance at Joe. "But - if he's been here since the close of school, then surely he's had ample time to reflect on the…er…error of his ways?"

Miss Abigail beamed at him. "You have such an excellent way of putting things, Mr. Cartwright! So erudite!"

"Adam. Please."

"Adam." She lowered her eyes and smiled coyly.

Taken aback, Adam shifted uneasily.

Joe looked from one to the other with speculative interest.

"Well, I suppose…Joseph, have you finished your assignment?"

Joe bobbed his head. "Yes, ma'am!"

"This is the second day in a row you've disrupted class, Joseph. I can't have this every afternoon."

"No ma'am." Joe's look of contrition was positively soulful.

"I'll have a talk with him, Ma'am."

Miss Abigail's face melted with gratitude. "Oh, would you, Adam? I'm sure that would helpful. And perhaps you could talk to him about his studies, too? Joseph doesn't seem to fully appreciate the importance of a good education. And since you're a college graduate, surely you could help him understand - "

Joe glared.

Adam shot him a warning glance. "Certainly. Now, if it's all right with you, I'd like to get Joe home in time for supper."

Joe popped hopefully to his feet.

Miss Abigail nodded. "Very well. But I don't want a repeat of this incident tomorrow, Joseph."

"No, ma'am," Adam answered for him, back-stepping hastily to Joe, taking him by the shoulders and turning him to the door. "Thank you for being so understanding."

Miss Abigail positively simpered. "My pleasure, Adam. I'll see you tomorrow, Joseph."

Joe nodded, moving to the door under his brother's insistent hand. "Thank you, Miss Abigail."

They were well out of town before Adam said plaintively, "I'm not in enough trouble, you gotta get me in more?"

Joe perked up. "What other trouble you in?"

Adam could have kicked himself. "Never mind…" he amended hastily "…but if you're going to make a habit of this you'd better finish training Cochise. Can't make any time at all on that pony."

"You said you'd help me."

Adam sighed. "I will help you. But you've got to stop being kept after school. By the time you get home there isn't any time."

"Well, you're late gettin' home, too."

Adam was silent. _True enough_. "I'll make a deal with you. You don't get kept after school tomorrow and I'll try not to be delayed either and we'll work with Cochise. I could manage Saturday, too, if you're interested." He wasn't quite sure _how_ he'd manage it, but he'd think of something.

After a minute, Joe nodded. "Pa awful mad?"

"Pa doesn't know yet. At least, he didn't when I left. And he doesn't have to if you get a move on."

Joe spurred Shadow into a gallop. "Then what we pokin' along for?"

Hoss was waiting as they walked into the yard, leading the horses the last stretch to cool them.

Adam raised his eyebrows at him.

Hoss shook his head.

Adam released his breath in relief. "Hoss, can you get started with the horses? I'll give you a hand in a minute." He took Joe by the arm and led him to the pump. "Hold still." He took off his bandanna and ran it under the pump, then applied it vigorously to Joe's face.

"Hey!" Joe protested.

"Will you keep still?" Adam surveyed his handiwork. "It'll have to do. Wash your hands." While Joe half-heartedly ran his hands under the pump, Adam tried to remove the first layer of dirt from his own face. He fumbled for his handkerchief and used it to dry himself and then Joe before heading to the barn with Joe trailing.

Hoss already had both horses unsaddled and had set to work on Shadow. Adam started in on Sport, while Joe hung over the stall watching. Adam glanced up at him and frowned. "Come here." Joe approached cautiously. Adam took his face in one hand and dragged a curry comb through his hair.

Joe tried to squirm away. "Hey! That's a horse comb!"

"Well, unless you've got another one on you, it's what we've got. I guess you'll do. Go in the house and try to look as though you've been there for a while."

Joe thought a minute, then brightened. "I'll start my homework!"

Adam rolled his eyes. "Yeah, that won't make anybody suspicious. Think of something else. Act natural. Pester somebody."

Joe waited until he was well out of reach at the barn door before turning around and smiling sweetly. "Miss Abigail likes Adam," he announced. "She's downright googley-eyed over him."

Adam glared up from his work with Sport and took a threatening step toward him.

Joe turned and fled.

Adam debated pursuit for a moment, then slowly turned back to Sport. Out of the corner of his eye he caught Hoss grinning at him questioningly. He turned his glare on him. "You got something to say?"

Hoss's grin grew broader. "Well, shoot, Adam, you done told him ta pester somebody."

Adam threw down the curry brush and picked up a dandy cloth.

Hoss chuckled. "Fine lookin' filly, that Miss Abigail."

Adam's jaw tightened, but he refused to be baited.

"Real well educated, too. Reckon it's all that book learnin's gone right ta her head."

Adam drew his breath in to say something, then shut his mouth stubbornly.

Hoss smiled slyly. "Figger if'n Joe keeps gettin' kep after school thisaway, she could have you roped and tied by spring."

Adam's head reared up. "Listen - " He saw Hoss's face and let his shoulders relax, turning away with an exasperated sigh. "Oh, just - shut up and finish, will you?"

000

If Ben had had his wits about him he would have noticed the air of angelic diligence pervading the great room upon his entrance and had the presence of mind to be suspicious. But he had had a long and difficult day and his mind was occupied with other things, so he only took a moment to be grateful that all his sons seemed to be present and ready for supper. He glanced over at Hoss and Joe, engaged in a quiet game of checkers, and Adam, perusing the _Territorial Enterprise_, as he removed his gunbelt.

"Sorry to keep you waiting, boys. I'll be ready to sit down in just a minute." A chorus of docile murmurs as he went to wash his hands and tell Hop Sing that they were ready to eat tugged at his alertness, but he quickly dismissed it.

He allowed himself to look more closely at their faces as they served themselves, but noticed only that they all seemed unusually tired. And quiet. "Well, Joseph," he said with forced jocularity by way of starting conversation. "You made out all right riding to and from school yourself, I see."

Joe swallowed hard and glanced quickly at Adam.

"Actually, he rode home with me, Pa," Adam interjected smoothly.

Ben raised his brows in Joe's direction. "I understood you preferred not to have your brothers ride home with you."

Adam jumped in again. "I had to be in town and stopped by the schoolhouse. Just for company."

Ben looked at Joe questioningly.

Joe smiled weakly. "It's different when I don't have to."

Ben nodded. "I see." He didn't, but he wasn't up to trying to reason out his sons' peculiarities tonight. "And how about you two boys?"

Adam and Hoss stopped chewing and exchanged glances. Between them, they couldn't think of a single thing about this day that wasn't better left unsaid.

Adam cleared his throat. "Nothing special, Pa. How about you? You're pretty late getting back tonight."

Ben grunted as he helped himself to more potatoes. "Running into a few problems. Could use a little rain, to tell the truth. The river's getting low. Gets much lower and we're going to have to find another way to get that timber off the mountain. Not really something we have time for."

Hoss nodded, glad to have a safe topic. "Been a real dry summer all right. Fall ain't much better so fer."

Adam looked up from his dinner. "Want me to have a look, Pa?"

"Unless you know a rainmaker I don't see what good it will do, Adam."

"Pa, I am an engineer."

"I realize that, son."

Adam fought to curb his impatience at his father's absent-minded tone. "Pa, that's what engineers do. Solve problems like that."

The frustrations of the day made Ben short tempered and inattentive. He'd had enough of business for one day - now he only wanted to eat in peace. "Adam, I gave you a job to do. If you want to help, then please attend to it. Knox has a great deal of experience in these matters - I'm sure that between us we can work something out."

Adam bit back a retort and fixed his attention firmly on his plate. Everything on it seemed to have lost its appeal.

"Joseph, after dinner I'll help you with your lessons."

"Adam told Miss Abigail he'd help me." Joe gave his eldest brother a look of limpid innocence.

The look his eldest brother returned showed that he was less than amused.

"Well, that's fine then. I should go over that contract again anyway - see how much breathing room we have. If you haven't quite finished cleaning that platter, Hoss, would you pass it this way, please?"

"I'm done, Pa. Can I be excused?"

Ben glanced at Joe's plate in surprise, then nodded. "_May_ I - yes, if you're sure. Homework next, though - I'm sure your brother will give you a hand as soon as he's done."

Adam pushed his plate away. "I'm done, Pa. Get your books, Joe."

Ben shook his head. "Well, either you're all suddenly eager to study or nobody has an appetite tonight. Hoss?"

Hoss looked up from his third helping. "Not me, Pa. I'm just about starved!"

Ben watched his other two sons settle at the desk in his study, feeling clearly for the first time that something was slightly out of kilter. "Hop Sing can serve your dessert there." he offered.

Joe made a face at his books but cheered up at the mention of dessert.

Adam didn't look up at all.

000

Over an hour later Joe glanced from the grandfather clock to his brother, seated silently next to him resting his cheek on his fist while Joe fought his way through long division. He was pretty sure he'd lost his tutor's attention - he'd barely blinked in the last five minutes - should be the right time to make good his escape. With elaborate casualness he closed his book with a flourish and slid to his feet, heading toward the checkerboard.

An iron hand on his belt stopped him cold. "Finish," Adam said firmly.

Joe opened his mouth to say he was finished, but something in Adam's expression froze the words on his tongue. He flopped back into his chair, sighing gustily. "I hate math," he complained.

"You can hate it all you want, as long as you do it."

Joe flipped the book back to the right page and scowled at the remaining problems. Well, that tactic hadn't worked, but maybe he'd do better with another one. He glanced at his brother out of the side of his eye. "Adam, what do engineers do?"

Adam looked surprised at the question, but after a moment said, "Build things."

"Then what do architects do?"

"Build things." And, seeing Joe's expression, "Different things. Houses and buildings. Engineers build bridges and tunnels and roads. Mine shafts. They solve different kinds of problems."

Joe looked from his math problems to his brother, a little interested in spite of himself. "You gonna build things on the Ponderosa, Adam?"

Adam was silent for so long that for a moment Joe thought he hadn't heard him. He was just about to repeat the question when Adam stirred and spoke quietly. "You've only got two problems left. Finish up and you still have time for a game of checkers with Hoss."

Joe was going to point out that that wasn't an answer, but a look at Adam's profile changed his mind. Shaking his head, he relinquished all strategy and returned to his long division.

Older brothers. He'd never understand them.

000

Joe would have been surprised to know how his question had stuck with his brother. It was still nagging at him hours later as he sat up in bed and abandoned all pretense of sleep.

Throughout his four years in college, somewhere in the back of his mind he had always assumed that he would come back to the Ponderosa and make use of his education - researching and applying modern techniques, working out and solving the problems inherent in running such a large spread. The two things meshed so clearly in his head that it had never even occurred to him that his father might see things differently. For an uneasy moment he wondered if his father even understood what it was his new training had enabled him to do - not just in a general way - but specifically, where the Ponderosa was concerned.

He heard the grandfather clock chime downstairs and winced. He'd pay for this tomorrow. Maybe if he read a little he'd be able to relax. He turned up the lamp and reached for his book, then sat staring at it.

Was this what Pa thought he'd been doing for four years? Reading poetry? Talking philosophy? Oh, he'd done plenty of that and enjoyed it, too, but it had been more than just some self-indulgent odyssey. At least, he'd meant it to be. He ran his hand thoughtfully down the cover of the book and, after a small hesitation, put it aside. Not back on his night table, but on his desk with the stack of unread books. Then he lay down and tucked his hands behind his head to think.

Maybe he needed to let go of books, at least for a little while. The thought brought a pang, but he could barely stay awake long enough to read anyway. And everything seemed to be sliding out of control. He needed to make some kind of progress with the hands soon or they would begin to fall behind, by slow but sure increments. Whatever questions lay between him and his father, he owed him better than that in return for his trust. Owed the Ponderosa better.

Maybe it was time to start over from scratch. Forget everything he thought he'd built before he went away and go back to the beginning.

Not a good time to approach his father with his problems while he was worrying about the lumber contract, but if he didn't see some improvement on the range in the next two weeks he would go to him anyway and ask his advice. He'd also talk to him about his degrees and their potential impact on the future of the ranch. Pa could be stubborn and old-fashioned, but he was a good businessman. He just had to make him see.

He turned on his side and closed his eyes, willing sleep to come, pushing down a creeping sense of failure. After a minute he reached out and flipped open the lid of the music box.

The jingling melody wasn't loud enough to disturb anyone, but something about the sound seemed to ease the hollow feeling that had settled around his heart. Before the song had played through once, sleep had claimed him at last.

_TBC_


	4. Chapter 4

_**Chapter 4**_

Adam caught up with his brother at the far end of the south pasture where he was breaking for lunch after a hard morning of digging post holes.

Adam dismounted, hiding a grin at the size of Hoss's bundle of sandwiches. "Hey, Hoss? I need a favor." He peeled off his gloves and sat down under a tree on the ground next to him.

"What's that?" Hoss asked suspiciously.

"I promised Joe I'd be back in time to help him with Cochise before dinner provided he wasn't late getting back from school, but I need to make sure Clyde and Deever actually finished that fence. Could you swing by and take a look for me?"

Hoss chewed meditatively. "I could…" He looked unhappy at the idea.

Adam was surprised. "If it's a problem I guess I could make time for it, I just wanted to…" He trailed off. Hoss, with his easy good nature, would never understand his difficulties with Joe.

Hoss made a face. "It ain't no problem, Adam. Reckon I can do it."

Adam nodded, studying his expression curiously. "Okay, thanks." It was so rare for Hoss to be perturbed. "Something the matter?"

Hoss actually stopped chewing for a minute and grimaced. "I was just thinkin'."

"Uh-huh. About?"

Hoss put down his sandwich. "Curly Froman."

"Oh." Adam chuckled. "That was quite a hit you gave him. Looked like a squirrel storing nuts in his cheek this morning."

Hoss nodded glumly.

Adam tilted his head at him. "He giving you a hard time?"

"No, he's givin' me a pretty wide berth, matter o' fact."

"Can't blame him."

"I reckon."

Puzzled by his disheartened tone, Adam crossed his arms on his knees and looked at him. "Clyde and Deever?" he offered finally. "They giving you a hard time?"

Hoss shook his head. "Reckon they'll be givin' me a wide berth, too."

"Okay." Adam leaned back against the tree and tilted his hat over his eyes. "I'm running out of guesses. Want to help me out?"

Hoss's face went through a series of gyrations, then he burst out, "Dadgum it, Adam, I know it's my own fault an' I done it ta myself when I hit Curly fer not doin' what ya said. So's now if'n I show up ta check up on Clyde an' Deever they'll most likely figger I'm there ta do the same ta them unless they do their job. I don't want folks thinkin' I'm yer paid muscle."

Adam grinned. "Hm. I'll admit that's one solution that hadn't occurred to me."

"It ain't funny," said Hoss sourly.

"C'mon, it's at least a _little_ funny." Hoss's expression remained grim, so he said reasonably, "Listen, Hoss, if you're thinking Curly told everybody about what happened, I think you're wrong. I'm not sure what he did tell them, but I'll give you good odds it was a lie. No cowpoke worth his salt wants to admit he was taken down by one punch from a seventeen year old kid - even a really big seventeen year old kid. I can promise you he's not spreading this story around the bunkhouse. He'd be a laughingstock and he knows it."

Hoss's eyes brightened. "Ya figger?"

"I'd bet money on it."

"So Clyde an' Deever won't think - "

"They might think you're a pain in the butt, but they'll blame that on me."

"Huh." Hoss picked up his sandwich again and began to chew vigorously.

"Just don't go knocking their heads together if you think they don't show me the proper respect, or you will have a reputation."

Hoss smiled his gap-toothed smile. "No sir. Not me. Thanks, Adam."

"I mean it, Hoss. I appreciate the support, but from now on, let me handle it."

"Yes, sir, Adam. If they get me riled I'll just count ta ten."

Adam made a face, remembering. "Might want to try something else."

"How 'bout you and Curly? How's that?"

"Oh, he's being careful around me, but probably just to avoid tangling with you. I'm going to try and have a talk with Smokey. If I can get him on my side the rest should follow."

Hoss looked dubious. "How you figger on doin' that?"

Adam took off his hat and stood, rubbing at his tired eyes. "I'm hoping for inspiration."

"Good luck to ya."

"Thanks. I'll see you at supper." He was about to remount when he paused, gazing thoughtfully at the dazzling arch of blue overhead. "There really is nothing like a Nevada sky, is there?"

"Only one I ever care ta live under."

"Right. See you tonight, Hoss."

000

"Easy, easy - don't push. Come on, Joe, you don't like it when anybody pushes you – neither does she. Just take it easy."

Joe glowered, but he eased up on the little mare. Adam leaned against the corral to watch, then nodded. "That's better. Don't forget to let her know you're pleased." He ducked between the rails and walked over to give Cochise a pat himself. "Nice work. That's probably enough for today."

Joe looked stubborn. "I could get her to do it. Just a little more."

Adam shook his head. "Look, Joe, I know you're anxious to have her as a full time mount. It's easy to forget that even though _you_ know what you want her to do, _she_ doesn't know what you want her to do. You need to give her a little time to catch up. She'll get there - she's got a real sweet temperament. She'll make you a first rate cowpony someday." Joe opened his mouth to argue, but Adam was firm. "It's almost time for supper. Walk her around a little and cool her down. I'll help you put her up for the night."

Adam watched Joe lead Cochise out of the corral, following to close the gate behind them and making himself comfortable with his back against it.

"How's it goin'?"

Adam glanced over his shoulder at Hoss, propped companionably next to him. "All right so far, I guess. Joe's a little impatient but Cochise is real good-natured. Seems to balance out."

"I weren't talkin' about the horse. I meant you an' him."

Adam turned to look at Hoss, then smiled a little. "Know me pretty well, don't you?"

"Know ya both."

Adam nodded, then said, "Hard to say."

"You'll work it out. Just takes a little patience, like ol' Cochise there."

Adam's eyes followed Joe and the pinto. "I guess you're right."

He'd promised himself last night to start from scratch, and that meant with Joe, too. Especially with Joe. If Joe'd forgotten everything they'd had between them before he'd gone away, well, what did he expect? He was just a little kid. Okay, it hurt - just a little - but he could get past that. He was supposed to be the adult here.

He saw Joe reach down to feel Cochise' chest then lead her toward the barn and he pulled himself up to full height. "Well, looks like it's once more into the breach. Tell Pa we'll be in to supper in a little while."

Hoss pursed his lips. "Need some help?"

"You mean a referee? No, thanks, Hoss. I think it's better if I work this out with baby brother without a buffer."

"Suit yerself. But don't take too long - it's pork an sweet taters tonight an' I'm clear holler."

"In other words, hurry or go hungry. I'll remember."

Adam found Joe already busy currying Cochise. He was talking sweet nonsense to her, but stopped at the sight of his brother. Adam picked up a brush without comment and got busy on the horse's other side. They worked together in silence. After a while, his eyes still intent on his work, Adam ventured, "So, feel like telling me why you're so mad at me?"

Joe didn't answer, just bent down to pick out one of Cochise' front shoes.

"Or maybe," Adam continued conversationally, "You're mad at the world and I'm just a real handy target." He gave Joe a surreptitious glance and saw one corner of his mouth quirk upward. _That was a little better. _

Joe moved to the next hoof, his gaze fixed there, concentrating hard on what he was doing. "You see any of those big ships when you were in Boston?"

Adam was almost startled into dropping his brush, but he forced himself to keep working as if nothing special had happened. It was the first time he could remember Joe showing any interest in anything that might have happened to him in the four years he'd been gone. "The clippers? Sure. Grandfather lived right near Boston Harbor. I used to watch them come and go all the time."

"Like the ones we saw in San Francisco?"

"Just like those."

Joe nodded and worked his way to the back hooves. They fed Cochise and finished in silence.

They were halfway to the house before Joe spoke again. "Can we work with her again tomorrow?"

Adam smiled faintly. "I don't know. Think you can avoid being kept after school two days in a row?"

Joe shrugged. "I can do it." He slid a sideways glance at Adam. "Miss Abigail'll be awful disappointed, though."

Adam took a mock swing at him and Joe ducked, grinning. Adam reached out automatically to ruffle his hair, stopped himself and put his hand in his pocket instead.

"Don't push," he reminded himself softly.

_TBC_


	5. Chapter 5

_**Chapter 5**_

Ben took off his bandanna to wipe down his neck. _Indian summer._ If only things weren't so dry he might have enjoyed it. He moved out of the warm Virginia City sun and into the relative cool of the Sheriff's office.

Roy Coffee looked up from his desk and nodded his greeting. "Hey, Ben, you old reprobate!"

"Hello, Roy. Was just in town and thought I'd see if you had a minute for lunch with an old friend."

"Reckon I can tear myself away from these wanted posters for an hour or two, if'n you don't mind havin' lunch here. I'm waiting on the Doc - one o' my prisoners back there ain't lookin' so good. Can't have people dyin' in my jail. I'll get a reputation."

Ben returned Roy's grin. "Probably that food you feed 'em. Enough to make any man ill."

"Well, can't have 'em gettin' too comfortable in there neither - I'd be overrun with prisoners wantin' to live easy on the Territory. Have a seat, Ben." He nodded toward a small boy waiting patiently by the door. "I was just sending Tommy here over to order some grub. Make that two servins', Tommy, of whatever Mamie's dishin' up today." Ben pulled up a seat while Roy cleared a space on his desk. "How things goin', Ben?"

"All right, Roy. Wish we'd see some rain, though."

Roy nodded. "We could use it, all right. How're them boys o' yours?"

Ben frowned. "Not sure I know the answer to that myself, Roy."

Roy chuckled. "How's that? They still livin' at the Ponderosa, ain't they?"

Ben nodded. "Oh, they're still there all right: Adam's brooding, Joe's sulking and Hoss is eating me out of house and home."

Roy's eyes twinkled. "Sounds about normal, Ben."

Ben gave a short laugh. "You may have something there."

"So, what all is Adam broodin' about?"

"Wish I knew. I was trying to figure it out when I got distracted by this problem at the lumber camp. And you know Adam. If you want to get something out of him that he doesn't want to give up, you'd better have a pry bar and ten clear hours."

"Uh-huh. How 'bout Little Joe?"

"Can't figure that one out either. Complains about school, complains about his chores, complains about his brothers - nothing seems to make that boy happy these days. He's a lot more vocal about it than Adam, but I still don't feel I have any idea what the real problem is."

"As for Hoss, you kin just blame yerself fer that, Ben. Bound ta happen if ya insist on growin' a boy that big."

Ben nodded, but his expression didn't lighten. "Hoss has his own battle, I think. Doesn't seem to know his own strength after that latest growth spurt last year."

Roy got up and poured Ben a cup of coffee. "Maybe you should just be countin' yer blessins'. Like that it's Hoss's temper in Hoss's body and Joe's in Joe's body and not the other way around."

Ben laughed. "You do have a way of putting things in perspective, Roy."

He stood up to accept the coffee just as Dr. Martin bustled in. "Paul!" he said pleasantly.

Paul Martin nodded. "Ben. Good to see you. Well, Roy, I hear you've killed another one."

The Sheriff looked aggrieved. "Now, you see what I was a-sayin', Ben, about a reputation? You come back here, Doc, and have a look for yerself. Still alive and kickin'."

"All right, but I warned you about that jail chow. Better come along, Ben. May need your help."

"Yeah, come along, Ben. I may need a witness."

Smiling, Ben followed the two men, who were still scrapping genially.

Roy's jail showed only two prisoners. One lay quietly on the cot, the other paced restlessly in the next cell. The pacer stopped as they approached. "When can I get out o' here, Sheriff?"

Roy searched his key ring for the right key. "Soon as you can pay for damages to the Bucket o' Blood. Owner's talkin' about lettin' you work 'em off, if'n you got no other way an' your game."

The occupant looked eager. "I'm game."

Roy found the right key. "All right then, I'll send you over to 'em with Clem. Reckon he can use the help tonight, bein' as it's Saturday. But you work hard and look sharp. I don't want ta see you back here tonight or I won't be so easy on you."

"Yes sir."

Roy unlocked the first cell and gestured Paul inside, then turned to the next one. "Just let me take care o' this, Paul, while you have a look, an' I'll be right back. Ben, you give him a hand if'n he needs anything?" He unlocked the second door and escorted the shabbily dressed prisoner back to the office.

Ben knelt down next to Paul and watched him examine the prisoner, thinking about how many times he'd watched him do the same to his own boys. He was grateful that this time it wasn't one of his own, but surely this man belonged to someone - was somebody's son, or husband, or father.

Paul was feeling under the man's jaw, his face thoughtful. "Get me a bucket of water and a dipper, will you, Ben?"

Ben nodded and went to fetch the water. When he returned, Paul was looking down the man's throat and asking questions. The man replied after a fashion, but seemed to have some difficulty speaking.

Roy reappeared just as Paul was finishing his examination. "Whattya think, Paul?"

Paul studied his patient. "Don't know. Could be a lot of things. Pretty bad throat. And I don't like this swelling under his jaw. Not much fever, though. I'm going to make him comfortable and check back later to see how he's progressing. I'd like to keep him isolated until I know more. Think you can do that?"

Roy shrugged. "Now, yeah. But it's Saturday, Paul. Once this town gets swingin' tonight I could be full up and three deep by sunrise."

"Send him over to me if that happens. I assume he's not dangerous?"

"Heck, no. Just got into a brawl with that other feller and did some damage to the Bucket o' Blood. Between us, I don't know how Sam can tell the difference, way he keeps that place, but it's not for me ta question. Anythin' else you need?"

"Water and the blanket should do it. Know if he has any family?"

Roy shook his head. "Couldn't find anyone ta claim 'em. Just a drifter it seems."

Ben watched Paul hold a dipper of water for the man, feeling pensive. He didn't have much to complain about, really. His sons were healthy and with him - he wasn't alone and ill, like this man. "Let me know if there's anything he needs, Paul," he said quietly.

Paul looked up at him, then nodded. He covered his patient and climbed slowly to his feet. "That's all I can do for now, Roy, but I'll be back. Send Tommy or Clem for me if there's any change." He led the way back to the office, stuffing things back in his bag.

"Lunch with us, Paul?"

Paul looked at Roy's desk where Tommy was setting down a lidded bucket and shook his head. "Thanks, Roy, but no time today. Just keep an eye on my patient for any changes. I'll see you later." He smiled at Ben. "How's the family, Ben? Must be pretty quiet out there lately. Haven't had to tend to one of that accident-prone brood of yours in a while."

"Everyone's fine, Paul." And suddenly he meant it fervently.

"Glad to hear it. I don't need the business. Give them my best. Gentlemen."

Ben looked after him while Roy pulled out a couple of plates. "We're in luck, Ben. Mamie's chicken and dumplings. Sit yourself down."

Ben sat down slowly, his face thoughtful. "Takes something like that man in there sometimes to make us think, doesn't it? Made me decide I don't have any troubles at all." He smiled, a little sadly, shaking his head. "But I tell you, Roy, I don't know where the time went. It was just yesterday Adam was about Joe's age and Hoss was tagging along after him and Joe toddling after both of them. Just yesterday, I swear to you. I see it so clearly - sometimes more clearly than I see them as they really are today."

"They're good boys, Ben, all three. You got nothin' ta worry about."

Ben nodded. "I know. Just growing pains, I suppose."

Roy chuckled. "Well, I hope yer referrin' ta Joe, because I think Adam's done growin' and I sure hope Hoss is!"

"The boys, Roy?" Ben raised his brows at him. "I was referring to myself."

000

Adam listened to Hoss's report of their progress and nodded, satisfied. "Good work. We may come out all right yet."

Hoss gave him a dubious glance. "Reckon things are under control here, Adam, but you sure this is a good idee?"

"Nope." Adam touched his hat to him and proffered a nod before riding off. He felt his father's trip into town couldn't have been more opportune for his purposes. He had over two hours before he had to help Joe with Cochise and he intended to take full advantage of them. With Hoss keeping an eye on the men driving part of the herd down from the upper pasture, Adam could ride down to talk to Smokey, who was doing an equipment check before taking the afternoon off.

Adam rode up as Smokey was making his way from the storage shed to the bunkhouse and dismounted quickly, slinging Sport's reins around the hitching rail. "Hi, Smokey. I'd like to talk to you for a minute."

Smokey's expression was not welcoming. "I'm on my own time."

_Great start_, thought Adam grimly. "My watch shows another hour."

"Oh, well, see, we ragged ol' cowhands don't tell time by watch. We're too ig'rant. We tell by the job. An' I done finished the job ya done give me."

"All right." Adam folded his arms over his chest. "Then I'll pay you for the time."

"Yer papa ain't gonna like that."

"I'll worry about that. Let's use the bunkhouse, shall we?"

Smokey paused, torn between stubbornness and extra money. After a minute the money won and, swaggering, he led the way to the bunkhouse. Inside, he propped himself against a bunk and stared at Adam. "So. What-all you wanna talk about?"

Adam gave him a half smile. "Oh, you're a bright guy. I bet you can guess."

Smokey just stared. Adam half-sat on a saddle rack and contemplated his square countenance. "Smokey, you're the foreman here. I figure if I have trouble with you, I'll have trouble with the men. If I don't have trouble with you, I won't. Make sense?"

Smokey shrugged warily. "I don't control the men."

"Now, that wouldn't make you much of a foreman, would it?"

Smokey glared, angry at having missed the trap. "What's yer point?"

Adam paused. "I know I've been away. But that doesn't make me a stranger to ranching. I've been working the Ponderosa since I was twelve. I'm working it now - the same work you're doing, the same conditions, same hours, same weather. So what's your beef with me exactly?"

Smokey's glare grew sour. "Three long years I been foreman o' this ranch. All o' a sudden I'm supposed ta be takin' orders from some wet-behind-the-ears pup. Don't set with me."

"You mind taking orders from my father?" Smokey narrowed his eyes, trying to follow where this was going. "I'll take that as 'no'. My father's orders are to take orders from me. I worked this ranch from the time I was twelve until I left at nineteen - that's seven years. I figure that gives me seniority, too. You got a problem with the way I run things?"

"I don't like folk what have things handed to 'em."

"I don't see anybody handing me anything."

Smokey shrugged. "I don't like you."

"I'm not asking you to. I'm asking you to call off your dogs."

Smokey's lip curled in a sneer. "Or what? You sic that big ol' dumb brute o' a brother o' yearn on me?"

Adam had promised himself that he'd count to ten. He had vowed to keep his temper. He didn't even realize he had failed to until he saw Smokey go flying across the bunkhouse on the end of his fist.

000

Hoss found him at the pump when he rode in an hour later. He saw Sport still standing at the hitching rail as he dismounted and glanced over at his brother. "You goin' out again, or you want me ta put him up with Chubb?"

Adam shook his head. "No, I'm not going anywhere."

"I'll pull them saddles, then. All set up in the pasture. You talk ta Smokey?"

"Oh, yeah, we had a nice little chat."

"Good." Hoss gathered up both sets of reins. "Mebbe we're past it, then." He led the horses over to the pump on his way to the barn. "You fellers reach some sorta understandin'?"

Adam looked up at him and Hoss took a step backward. "Lordy, Adam."

Adam smiled wryly, then dabbed at his split lip where the smile had restarted the bleeding.

"Yup, I'd say we understand each other just fine." He took Sport's reins from Hoss's unresisting hand and, limping slightly, led him to the barn.

_TBC_


	6. Chapter 6

_**Chapter 6**_

When Ben rode into the yard after lunch with Roy he found Adam and Joe at the corral working with Cochise. Neither noticed him at first and he paused to watch.

Joe was putting Cochise through her paces.

Adam called out some direction.

Joe called something back.

Adam ducked into the corral and approached him, gesturing with his hands and explaining something.

Ben couldn't hear the actual words of Joe's answer, but he winced at the tone. _Oh, no, here we go._

Adam's reply was too low to make out, but Ben felt the chill from here.

Joe's voice rose in return.

Ben's mouth formed a grim line as he moved Buck forward, the warm glow he'd felt about his sons after his talk with Roy fraying a little at the edges.

Joe jumped off Cochise, yelling about something, and landed in the dirt. From where Ben was sitting, it almost looked like he actually stamped his foot.

Adam's voice rose a notch in volume and Joe yelled louder to be heard over it.

"Boys!" Both jumped at the sound of his voice, Joe looking up at him defiantly and Adam looking away. "Now, what seems to be the trouble?"

"He thinks he knows everything!" said Joe heatedly.

"Joe, you asked me to help. If you want my help, then let me help you."

"Then I don't want your stupid help!"

Adam threw up his arms in surrender.

Ben hesitated. His eldest and youngest sons were a volatile combination sometimes: he needed to tread gently. "Well, Joseph, your brother may not know everything, but he has trained a few more horses than you have. This is your first, and you did ask him to help."

This time, Joe really did stomp his foot. "You always take HIS side!" he blurted, and turned and dashed from the corral.

Ben stared after him. "Joseph, I am not taking sides! Come back here, son!" Joe ignored him, disappearing behind the barn. Ben frowned. "What on earth is this all about?"

Adam sighed, patting Cochise as his eyes followed Joe. "I don't know, Pa. Sometimes I think Joe feels like there's one Cartwright brother too many."

"Adam!"

Adam winced at his father's shocked tone, shocked himself to realize he'd said it out loud. "Sorry, Pa."

Opening his mouth to respond sternly, Ben looked directly at Adam for the first time and did a double take. "What on earth - " he jumped off Buck and hitched him to the corral, approaching for a better look. "What happened!"

"Happened?" Adam stalled, irritated that his fight with Joe had exposed him before he'd come up with a plausible alibi.

"To your face!"

"My face?"

Ben looked at him in exasperation. "Adam."

"Um. I - fell, Pa."

"You fell." Ben reached for his chin and grabbed it firmly as Adam tried to duck away. "Hm." He winced at a darkening bruise on Adam's right cheekbone. "That looks painful."

"It's fine." Adam took a step backward, releasing himself in the process. "I'm going to finish up with Cochise. Sometimes Joe comes back."

"Sometimes?" Ben's eyebrows shot up. "Does this happen often?"

Adam grit his teeth, wondering just what it was that made him so stupid today. "Not often. Sometimes."

"Adam - "

"Pa, maybe you should see to Joe. He seemed pretty upset."

Ben took a deep breath. "All right," he said at last, "Maybe you're right. Where's Hoss?"

"Inside. Eating, I think."

Ben closed his eyes and shook his head. _Of course._ He picked up Buck's reins and went to lead him away, then turned back. "Are you at least going to tell me _where_ you fell?" he asked, a little sarcastically.

Adam's expression was bland, the dark eyes opaque. "On my face, Pa. Where else?" He turned back to Cochise with an air of finality.

Ben turned toward the barn, feeling suddenly very old. What he wouldn't give for a pry bar and ten clear hours.

000

The Reverend Smith's sermon, though eloquent, was wasted on the Cartwright family the next morning.

Ben was still puzzling over his boys – he peered over Joseph's head at Adam's profile, still and unmoving, the swollen lower lip noticeable even from here. He knew full well that Adam had been in a fight, but with who? And why? He had noticed some of the ranch hands looking pretty bruised this morning as well and had toyed with that theory for a moment before discarding it. Probably the result of the usual Saturday night's revels – Adam was their boss, after all, they wouldn't be fighting him.

Ben sighed. Well, maybe Adam had been telling the truth – or part of the truth – and it was just some silly accident that his boy's pride wouldn't let him admit to.

He glanced down at the hunched figure between him and Adam, drooping with misery, and smiled involuntarily. When he was happy, nobody could look happier than Joseph, and when he was miserable, nobody more miserable.

He had tried talking to him yesterday behind the barn, and while the conversation had been long and loud, he felt no more enlightened than before. He couldn't figure out why he would keep asking his brother for his help and then, just as surely, push him away. He doubted Joseph understood it himself.

Ben leaned against the back of the pew and let his eyes drift to his left. Hoss's usually placid face was scrunched into a frown of deep concentration. Ben couldn't decide whether he was feeling the strife between his brothers or had some new problem of his own.

Reverend Smith's booming voice cut through his restless thoughts. "And I say to thee! Your greatest burden shall then become your greatest blessing…"

Ben sat up straighter, slowly taking in the three heads around him, from Hoss's fuzzy reddish one to Joseph's curly brown one to Adam's wavy black one, his good humor miraculously returning. _Well, well, well._ He slipped his arm loosely around Joseph's shoulders.

"And that which you have cursed, you will then bless…"

He chuckled. Good the Reverend Smith. Truer words were never spoken.

Adam saw Ben's arm go around Joe and smiled a little, wincing as the motion pulled on his split lip. Well, that was better. He'd felt uncomfortable since yesterday, as though he'd somehow betrayed his youngest brother to their father. Now, if only he could think of what to do about Hoss.

It had upset him to find out that Curly had told Smokey about his run-in with Hoss – he had been sure he wouldn't want that story noised around – and maybe it wasn't. Maybe only Smokey knew. But why tell him at all? He fidgeted restlessly, caught a reproving glance from his father and stilled. If his troubles were starting to spill over and make trouble for Hoss, too, then they had to be stopped. Now.

His head throbbed from his altercation yesterday but he took comfort in the thought that Smokey must be feeling at least as bad.

Of course, chances were the fallout from the fight would make his workday tomorrow even more unpleasant. He groaned softly at the thought and reached up to rub some of the ache away from his eyes.

He saw his father glance his way. This time Joe was looking at him too.

_Perfect_. He had gotten Joe in trouble, he had gotten Hoss in trouble, and now he was setting a bad example in church. Yup, he was doing a great job as older brother, all right. He wouldn't blame them if they packed him up and sent him back to Boston before he could do any more harm.

Everyone shuffled to their feet for the final hymn and Adam joined them, just a heartbeat behind. He was following without actually singing until he saw his father looking at him again and forced himself to half-heartedly join in.

Ben was thinking how little he had heard Adam sing since his return. He hadn't thought about it before, but now that he did, the once frequent sounds of guitar and its beautiful baritone accompaniment had been curiously absent. He missed it, he realized. Of course, Adam was probably tired after a day on the range – but today was Sunday. He'd ask him to play for them tonight. He ushered his charges out in front of him, shaking his head and wondering what else he wasn't noticing.

Ben made his way back to the buggy through a crowd of friends and neighbors, greeting and shaking hands. He was just climbing aboard himself when he heard a voice calling his name.

He turned as a young lady, rather breathless, stopped at his side. "Mr. Cartwright," she gasped. "Mr. Cartwright. I know you're on your way back to the ranch but I just couldn't let this opportunity go by without telling you how much Joseph's work has improved."

It clicked, finally. Joseph's teacher, of course. Miss…? The name escaped him. "Well, I'm very glad to hear that." He glanced at his youngest son, who managed to look both smug and virtuous at the same time.

"Yes." The young woman patted self-consciously at her hair. "I think Adam's help with his studies has been invaluable."

"Indeed?" Ben glanced at his eldest son, taken aback at the look on his face. He had the exact same expression he'd seen on the face of a deer caught in his rifle sites. "Well, I'm glad to hear it. I did notice that Joseph seemed to be home on time recently."

"Oh, my, yes. Joseph has been beautifully behaved, he - oh, my goodness, Adam. What happened to your face?"

Adam opened his mouth to answer, but by now Ben had heard the sniggers exchanged by Hoss and Joe and seen Adam's uncharacteristic, silent panic. Odd. Usually Adam was very deft with girls. A little more deft, frankly, than his father would like.

"He fell, Miss." For the life of him, he still couldn't remember her name. "Isn't that right, Adam?"

"Oh, I knew it had to be something like that. I knew you wouldn't be involved in anything as vulgar as a brawl. Where on earth did you fall?"

Adam opened his mouth again, but Ben interjected, "On his face, of course. Isn't that right, son?"

Adam gave his father a look that spoke volumes and smiled weakly at the young teacher.

"You two must have a lot in common. You're both so well educated." This time Adam looked so alarmed that Ben took pity on him. "Unfortunately, today we're in a hurry, but perhaps some other time. I'm sure you'd have a lot to say to each other."

"I'm sure we would." The young lady positively beamed. "Good-bye, Mr. Cartwright. Hoss. See you tomorrow, Joseph." She saved a special smile. "Good-bye, Adam."

Adam managed something relatively gracious and tipped his hat before climbing back in the surrey next to his father. Hoss and Joe were still snickering and he gave them one smoldering glare before hunching down with his arms crossed and his long legs stretched out in front of him.

"WHAT is that young lady's name?" asked Ben as he slapped the reins.

"Miss Abigail. Abigail Jones," said Joe helpfully. "She likes Adam."

"Yeah," grinned Hoss. "Mebbe there's hope o' Joe gettin' through school yet. Wish she'd been around fer me. "

Ben felt Adam shift next to him and put a quick hand on his arm to stop any precipitous moves over the seat into the back. "All right. That's enough. Don't tease your brother."

Adam stared at him in patent disbelief, then returned to his slumped position, tilting his hat over his eyes and pretending to sleep.

000

Joe and Hoss clamored out of the buggy as soon as it pulled to a stop in the barn.

"Hop Sing said he's fixin' chickens today!" Hoss announced gleefully. "With biscuits an' gravy! I kin jest about smell 'em from here!"

Joe dodged in front of him. "Well, you ain't gettin' all of it! That's my favorite!" He raced out of the barn with Hoss in hot pursuit.

Ben smiled after them. "Like a storm cloud one minute and a sunbeam the next. I'll never understand that boy."

Adam jumped down without comment and began to help him unhitch the horses. After a minute he said, "Pa, you remember Maxwell, that feed and grain man that's supposed to be in Carson City tomorrow? Had a real good offer on winter feed."

Ben frowned, then nodded. "That's right. I'd forgotten all about it. Guess one of us will have to make the trip. And I have to meet those railroad men in Virginia City tomorrow – try to get an extension on that contract. You'll have to manage without me. Maxwell's only supposed to be in Carson for a couple of days."

"What would you think about sending Hoss?"

"Sending Hoss?" Ben stopped working, surprised. "Well, I don't know. He's pretty young."

"Seventeen. He's got a lot of sense."

"I suppose." Ben led the horses out of the traces. "But sometimes it's hard for a young man to be taken seriously simply because of his age - no matter how smart or capable he is."

Adam stared at him a moment and started to say something, then changed his mind and said instead, "I think it would be good experience for him. It's a good deal for us, but the whole future of the Ponderosa doesn't rise and fall on it. I think it would be a good place for him to start. Get some confidence."

"I don't know." Ben held the horses' heads while Adam removed the harness. "You have to remember, things don't always come as easily to your brother as they do to you." The look Adam gave him was so peculiar that Ben finally said, "Well, maybe you're right. It would certainly solve a problem for us if we could both stay. Let's give it a try."

Adam bundled the harness for hanging and nodded slowly. "I think he'll do a good job for us."

"Well, then. Shall we have dinner and tell him?"

"I'll finish up with Scotty and Willy and be right in."

"All right, but don't be long or those two hooligans will have eaten everything but the bones!"

Adam watched him go, then leaned against Scotty with a sigh of relief.

All right, that gave him three days to find out if any of the other hands knew about Hoss and Curly and then to convince them that any teasing, tormenting or taunting they might want to try on Hoss as a result would be a very bad idea.

He rubbed his sore jaw thoughtfully. If he had to take on the whole bunkhouse, smiling would be painful for some time to come.

Well, no matter. He didn't have a whole lot to smile about these days anyway.

_TBC_


	7. Chapter 7

_**Chapter 7**_

"I thought it would be good experience for you. What are you so mad about?"

"You know dang well what I'm mad about. That stuff may work with Pa, but it don't cut no ice with me, Adam."

"Look, I know you prefer the outdoor aspects of ranching, but sooner or later you're going to have to learn the business aspects, too."

"That ain't what I'm talkin' about an' you know it."

"Then why don't you tell me what you are talking about."

Hoss scowled at him. "You had that fight with Smokey an' now you're sending me away when you know full well there could be trouble fer you tomorra. I should be here. I don't like it."

Adam smiled a little. "Now, I thought you didn't want to be my paid muscle."

"I ain't talkin' about hittin' nobody. I'm talkin' about support. Havin' somebody around that's on yer side."

Adam kneaded at the back of his neck and sat down wearily on a bale of hay. They were supposed to be doing the evening barn chores, but they'd barely gotten underway before Hoss had exploded with scarcely suppressed anger. He'd taken the assignment from his father calmly enough, but the look he'd given Adam at the time told him that he'd have plenty to say to him later, and now here it was.

"Look, Hoss, it's not like I'm in any danger or anything - these are our hands, afterall. The worst that's going to happen is that they're going to be annoying and petty. I'm a big boy. I think I can handle that."

"Yeah, you think you can handle a lot of things. I just don't get why you always think you gotta handle 'em alone."

Adam hesitated. There was no way he could actually explain to Hoss. He knew his younger brother was already struggling to come to terms with the problems of his massive size and strength - he was sensitive enough about it. He didn't need any new hecklers making it any harder. Problem was, Hoss knew him a little too well. For his own sake, there was nothing Adam wanted less than to see him go away - even for three days. He felt as though he was losing his only friend. But for Hoss's sake, he didn't see any way around it.

Finally he said quietly, "Hoss, I'm doing the best I can."

Hoss caught something in his tone that cooled his anger a little. He had trouble staying mad for any length of time anyway. He sat down on a bale nearby, picking idly at some loose straw at the corner. "You really think I kin do this, huh?"

Adam nodded. "I think you'll do a real good job."

Hoss looked pleased for a moment. "Well, I'll be." Then he frowned again. "But I still don't like it."

"No."

"So don't you go thinkin' you got away with anything here, neither."

"I don't."

"An' I better not come back an' find you any more bruised than you are right now."

Adam gave him a small smile. "Well, I don't know if I can make you any promises there. You are leaving me and Joe without a referee."

Hoss chuckled, standing up and reaching for a pitchfork. "Well, if'n I'm gonna do this thing, then, we'd better get these chores done. An' while we work you kin give me some pointers, seein' as how you got me into this."

Adam stood up too, pleased to have his brother's good humor restored, but vaguely dreading the morrow.

000

"The EAST pasture! EAST! Why in the name of God would we be moving cattle up to the north range with winter coming on?"

Smokey looked deeply thoughtful. "Y'know, Mr. Cartwright, we was wonderin' the same thing? But I figger yer the boss an' it ain't fer us ta question yer decisions."

Adam was sure he was going to swing then, it took all his willpower to stop himself, but the smug, watchful look on Smokey's face told him it was just what he was looking for and he refused to give him the satisfaction.

He closed his eyes and counted, slowly. When he thought he could speak calmly he said, "Well, I hope that if I ever suggest something so lame-brained someone will have the good sense to say something about it." He looked at the sky. "Too late to fix it today, but first thing tomorrow I want those cattle moved to the east pasture. EAST. Would you like me to write it down for you?"

"Well, that'd be fine, _Mr._ Cartwright, 'ceptin' I cain't read."

Adam winced. _Bad mistake. _Most of the men couldn't read, he kept forgetting that, and pointing it out only served to widen the gap between them. "Then I'll remind you tomorrow." The sudden thought of the number of places on the Ponderosa cattle could be "mistakenly" driven almost made his heart fail him. "In fact, I'll ride out with you to make sure we're all agreed on where we need to be."

"Whatever you say, Mr. Cartwright."

Adam turned away from the gleam of satisfaction in Smokey's eyes. Of course, while he was doing that something would go horribly wrong somewhere else. There had to be a better way to handle this. Winter was not going to wait while he worked out his problems.

"Mr. Cartwright?"

Adam looked up as another hand came riding toward him on horseback. "Mr. Cartwright, Deever sent me. Him an Clyde need ya out in the south pasture. Say they got a problem what's come up."

"South pasture?" Adam glanced at the sky again. He was supposed to meet Joe to work with Cochise before dinner and it was a long haul to the south pasture and then back to the ranch. "What seems to be the problem?"

"Well, now, they didn't say exactly, just that they needed you ta come."

Adam sighed inwardly. "All right, all right – " he skewered Smokey with a sardonic lift of brow. "Think you can handle things here all right?"

Smokey gave him a chilly grin in return. "Well, I'll sure do my best ta struggle along without ya, Mr. Cartwright."

That did nothing to quiet Adam's fears, but he mounted Sport and headed for the south pasture anyway.

The day had been worse than he'd even imagined – Smokey was certainly making sure he got his own back. The mishaps had escalated to the point that Adam felt a rising panic – he couldn't wait the two weeks he had allowed himself. He was going to have to go to his father and admit that he couldn't make it work. Or start firing people. Or both. If things continued to deteriorate at this rate, without Hoss to help pick up the slack they'd be in deep trouble by this time next week.

He still couldn't tell who else knew about Curly and Hoss's run in, but given the absence of jokes and whispers about it, he suspected that no one did. That was a help anyway.

Still, he couldn't really regret sending Hoss to Carson City. After a prodigious breakfast, Hoss had gotten off to an early start, now bursting with eagerness and nerves and a shy pride. Adam smiled a little, wondering what Hoss would say if he knew his big, tough older brother was sorely tempted to cling to him like a three-year-old and beg him to stay.

By the time he reached the south pasture both he and Sport were a little winded and the sun had moved visibly west. He hoped this was nothing too complicated, or he'd be late meeting Joe and he couldn't afford to break faith with him, either.

He spotted Clyde and Deever at the far end of the south pasture by a fence. At least that, hopefully, was finally finished. He dismounted while Sport was still moving and let him bring himself to a stop, sniffing hopefully at the grass. Clyde took the reins and led him over to where the other horses were picketed.

"Well?"

Deever was wearing that same, smug-and-defiant-at-the-same-time expression Adam was getting so tired of. To him it seemed to say that they had him outnumbered and were enjoying the advantage.

"Mr. Cartwright, we been working on this here fence and we got ta thinkin' – I know you didn't think two strings o' wire was enough, but was you wantin' three or four? We jest couldn't decide."

Adam looked at the fence with its three horizontal strands and back at Deever - then at the fence again.

He thought about the long ride out here, about having to leave Smokey free to create new chaos to make it, about the pace he'd have to set if he were to have any hope of keeping his appointment with Joe. He thought about the way this summarized his whole life lately - this frantic riding in endless circles for nothing - and for a minute he choked a little on his own bile.

"How many - " he struggled for control and tried again. "How many are on all the other fences on the ranch?" he forced out.

Deever pondered that seriously. "Well, three, I reckon."

"That's right. So that would probably work here, too, don't you think?"

Deever opened his eyes wide. "Well, durned if it wouldn't!"

Adam turned his back to him for a moment, seeking control, clenching and unclenching his fist. His eyes settled on the upper pasture. "The fencing higher on up – is that done?"

"Now, figgerin' this out kep' us right busy."

Adam took a deep breath. "You've been working on this _all day_?"

"More or less. Well, sir, I jest hated ta do it an' find out it weren't what you wanted."

This time, instinct outstripped reason and Adam was starting to swing as he turned. He managed to pull the punch before it landed, opening his fist and clamping his hand firmly instead on his gun belt. .

_No. Not this time._ He would not be provoked into this again.

He waited, poised to defend himself but determined not to start it, more than half-expecting Clyde at his back at any moment. But Clyde seemed more than willing to stay with the horses and after a minute Deever backed up a step, looking puzzled and wary.

Adam waited, but Deever just stood looking at him with an expression he couldn't quite read. Seeing as Deever didn't seem inclined to fight, Adam relaxed his stance a little, taking another deep breath. "Upper fence," he said tautly. "Now. Go."

Deever turned slowly, glancing at the upper pasture and then Clyde. If he had planned to point out the lateness of the hour a look at Adam's face made him think better of it and he went to join Clyde at the horses.

Adam watched them mount and ride toward the upper pasture before following to get Sport.

He gathered the reins then stopped, burying his face in the horse's mane. He gave Sport's neck a stroke, then moved to his left side and mounted, discouraged and depressed, turning him toward the ranch at a gallop, as if he could outride his problems that way.

He wished he had time to ride off somewhere on his own for a while, think things through, but he'd promised to help Joe with Cochise and he was in danger of being late already. He hoped Joe was in a better mood than last time – he didn't think he was up to one more adversarial confrontation today. He thundered Sport across the pasture land as far as he could, finally turning onto a thin ribbon of road.

If he and Sport could keep this pace he could still be on time to meet Joe and that one part of his day would remain intact anyway. He let Sport have his head, pounding into a deep twisting curve in the road – then felt a sudden jerk beneath him and found himself airborne.

The dirt road seemed to fly past his face, there was a quick glimpse of sky, and his teeth clacked together as he thudded in the dirt with an impact that knocked him breathless, his face turned up to the blue Nevada sky.

For a while the sky spun above him in slow circles and he just lay there, trying to get his breath back. The force of his fall threw dust up in clouds around him and he rested an arm over his eyes and closed them against it. When he coughed and felt his lungs kick in again he still lay there, wondering what there was to get up for, anyway. A habit of duty prodded at him though and after a minute he started an inventory to see if he'd broken or sprained anything.

Everything seemed more or less in place. Bruised, of course – especially around his pride. Couple of nasty scrapes. Pretty battered in spirit. And he had a good idea of what had happened.

He sat up, dusting futilely at his clothing, and pulled himself awkwardly to his feet. He wasn't surprised to see his saddle lying a few feet away. Sport was nowhere in sight.

He limped over to the saddle and squatted down to have a look.

_Broken cinch_. And yeah, it had been cut part of the way through. Easy to figure how Clyde had been entertaining himself while Deever was keeping him occupied. He sat looking at it, not even angry anymore, just feeling empty inside. After a minute he sighed and squinted down the road.

Well, Joe was waiting and he had a good hard walk ahead of him – he'd better get started.

He picked up the dusty canteen lying next to the saddle and took a swig. And choked and spat.

He wiped his mouth, upending the canteen to watch the contents empty onto the road.

_Sand. _

He recapped the empty canteen and fastened it to his saddle. Hefting the saddle onto his back, he began to walk.

_TBC_

_Hey, drmweaver, good to see you again! Yeah, you can insult Adam, but you better watch what you say about his family! And - well - I won't tell you the rest, but I always like a happy ending myself._


	8. Chapter 8

_**Chapter 8**_

"_'Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow'_," Adam muttered to himself, peeling off his gloves and chaps and trying to beat the dust out of them. A little rain to wet things down sure would be nice. He took off his hat and scrubbed the back of his hand across his forehead, frowning down the road toward town.

He had made it back, weary and footsore and late and apologetic and leading Sport, who he'd found contentedly cropping at some grass along the road about halfway back to the ranch. He'd refreshed himself at the pump and put Sport up in the barn - only to find there was no sign of Joe.

He sure hoped he wasn't kept after school again. The thought of having to ride into town and deal with Miss Abigail's uncomfortably ardent attentions made him groan out loud. He sank down onto the porch to wait.

The time had come to talk to his father and he was carefully sifting through, trying to figure out what to say. Full disclosure was out of the question. He knew perfectly well how Pa would view this latest incident – even though he wasn't really hurt, his father would never be able to get past the image of him lying by the roadside alone, unconscious or with a broken limb, with no water. He would be outraged. It was a pretty safe bet that that would be the end of Clyde and Deever at the Ponderosa - possibly Smokey, too.

He leaned forward and let his chin rest on his folded hands. Of course, that might make his life a lot easier, but…he couldn't do it. Being fired from the Ponderosa around these parts meant you had small chance of ranch work any where else - certainly not at any of the better spreads.

It had been a stupid joke, of course, and potentially dangerous, but he knew nobody meant him any real harm and he couldn't quite bring himself to turn them in. And his father had enough on his mind with the lumber contract. He would only be adding to his worries when he had hoped to do just the opposite. Besides, truth to tell, before this whole game with him had started they had been as good a group of cowhands as any around - better than most - and he couldn't seem to let go of the idea that he would somehow find a way for them to work successfully together.

Still, he had to find it soon or the snows would fly and catch the Ponderosa unprepared. He couldn't remember when he had felt more beaten. Or at more of an impasse.

He stood up and looked further down the road, pulling his watch out and frowning at it. Still no sign of Joe. In his mind, he ran through a list of things that could be holding Joe up, then a list of things he'd rather do than go looking for him. A bath, for instance. Sure could use one. But…he turned and went into the house.

"Hop Sing?" He dropped his chaps and gloves onto the sideboard. "Hop Sing?"

Hop Sing appeared from the kitchen. "You stay where you are. You very dirty."

"I noticed. Hop Sing, have you seen Joe come home from school?"

"No see Little Joe. I fix you bath."

"That sounds great, Hop Sing, but I'd better see if I can track down Joe. He's overdue. Pa back yet?"

"Fatha stay in town until late tonight. Important business."

"Oh." Adam had forgotten. Well, that was helpful. Maybe his luck was taking a turn for the better. "I'll be home as soon as I can find Joe. If he comes back without me, make sure he stays here, all right?"

Hop Sing rolled his eyes.

Adam grinned. "Well, do your best anyway. I'll be back as soon as I can."

Adam walked back to the barn and looked at Sport, contentedly chewing at some straw. Too bad to take him out again so soon. He stroked the blaze on the horse's face, looking around the barn. "No reason why one of us shouldn't get some rest." His eyes rested on Cochise. "And no reason for you to miss your workout. Come on, Cochise. Let's see if we can't find your master."

Adam found a saddle for Cochise, deciding to head to the Devlin's first. He had some mixed feelings about taking Cochise for what would probably be her longest trip with a saddled rider so far, but he figured it had to happen someday and Cochise was both available and in need of exercise. He swung into the saddle and was pleased to feel her break into a cheerful, bouncy trot. "Good girl," he said approvingly.

The trip to Devlins proved a pleasant ride – Cochise responded well and seemed bright and eager to please. Personally, he preferred a high-spirited, temperamental mount like Sport, but after a long day, Cochise' willing good humor was relaxing and pleasant.

His heart sank as he approached and saw Mitch Devlin in the yard, drawing water. No sign of Joe, and he wasn't much for sticking around for his own chores, never mind somebody else's. Mitch walked over to meet him.

"Hi, Adam. Isn't that Cochise?"

"Mm hm. Joe should be ready to ride her full time soon. Was he kept after school, Mitch?"

"That'll make Joe happy. He sure thinks a lot of that horse. No, Joe rode home with me most of the way. Didn't he get there?"

Adam shook his head, starting to be really troubled. "Can you tell me where he turned off?"

"Usual place."

"Usual time?" Adam was doing quick calculations in his head. His heart skipped a beat. That would make him over an hour late.

"Uh huh. Anything wrong, Adam?"

"I don't know. He hasn't made it home yet. I'd better get looking. Thanks, Mitch."

Mitch hesitated. "Need any help?"

"Not yet. If I do, I'll be back. Hopefully I won't be. Say hi to Cal for me"

Adam urged Cochise toward the crossing where Joe usually parted from the Devlins after school, wondering if he should have taken a mount he was more sure of. But Cochise responded so readily to all his commands that he couldn't help smiling, despite his growing anxiety. "Well, you're a real trooper, girl. Wonder if Joe could start riding you to school. Provided he's in any shape to ride at all after I find him and have a few words with him."

At the crossing he considered his options. Doubtful Joe had gone back to town. He looked thoughtfully toward the mountains. Well, it was the only thing he could think of that made any sense.

He made his way up through the pines, the beauty of the surrounding country lost on him for the first time. It would be dark in a couple of hours. If Joe wasn't here, he'd go back and ask the Devlins for help – even send someone in for the Sheriff. And – he winced at the thought – to notify Pa. He closed his eyes and shuddered. Pa had warned him that if Joe used riding to school alone as an excuse to wander off or get into trouble he would be held responsible. And now he had sent Hoss to Carson City – if anything happened to Hoss there, he would be responsible for that, too. Adam found himself wishing he'd stayed in Boston. At least there he was responsible only for himself – and there were days when that seemed a little more than he was up for.

He rounded the bend and stopped Cochise abruptly. For a moment he just stared, reassuring himself that it was real, and not his imagination. Then he took a deep breath and swallowed once or twice. Slowly, he dismounted, looping Cochise' reins around a branch and standing for a minute, stroking her neck. He was torn between hugging him until his ribs broke and shaking him until his teeth rattled and for a second he wasn't sure which would win out. Finally, he did neither.

After watching him skip stones for a few minutes, he walked over and stretched out on the ground next to him. Joe didn't look up, but sent another stone skipping across the lake – two skips.

"Not bad, for sitting down. I taught Hoss to do that here."

Joe was busy looking for another good, flat stone and still didn't look at him.

"Had a lot of trouble at first. But he got good at it. You know Hoss – lots of patience."

Joe let his stone fly with force. It lacked the easy rhythm of the others and plunked into the lake without skipping.

Adam made no comment.

Joe looked disgusted and began to poke around for another stone. He found one, threw it angrily. It splashed noisily into the water.

Adam hesitated, hoping he wasn't making things worse. _Well, nothing ventured_…he nodded his head at the well-kept grave marker. "I still come here to talk to her myself. Lot more peaceful than the conversations we had while she was alive, actually. Nobody could get me riled like Marie." He glanced at Joe significantly and smiled a little. "Well. Almost nobody."

Joe grinned involuntarily, quickly changed it to a frown.

"Took us a long time, though. I was just plain determined not to like her." He picked up a stone himself and sent it jumping across the water in five neat arcs.

Joe's eyes followed, reluctantly impressed.

"Seemed to me that we were just fine without her. Couldn't imagine why Pa thought we needed somebody else around. And…" he hesitated again. This was hard to admit out loud to anyone, especially to Joe. "I guess…I had some idea…well. I think I thought that, as long as I didn't care for her I could never be hurt if something happened to her. And something always seemed to happen. I think I even thought…" Now he was the one avoiding Joe's eyes, fishing around for a new stone. "I think I thought that if I didn't care for her, then nothing WOULD happen. She'd kind of be - safe." He shook his head, skimming a new stone in three increasing arcs. "Pretty crazy, huh? Anyway, she got through to me eventually. Showed me how wrong I was. And, next thing I knew, I did care for her."

Joe was silent for a long moment, then he said, "But something did happen."

Adam nodded. "Yup."

"So you weren't wrong."

"Yeah, Joe, I was." Adam sent up a prayer to Marie for the right words. "I was wrong because I thought that shutting my heart down would protect me. It doesn't. It just sort of - kills you. Inside. When I look back now and think of how I'd feel today if I hadn't let myself love Marie…well…" He shook his head. "The time I wasted was bad enough. And the grief of losing someone you love is terrible. But nothing like the grief of losing someone you've never allowed yourself to love. Knowing that the chance is over and there's no going back. That's just gotta be hell."

Joe was looking at him now, searchingly. Then he turned back to the lake, fingering another stone. "I miss Hoss."

Adam looked up, surprised. "Yeah. Me too."

"You sent him away."

"Just to Carson City. For three days. He'll be back before you know it. It's good experience for him."

Joe snorted. "That's what Pa always said about you and college."

"Well. It was."

Joe let some of the dirt run through his fingers. "People don't always come back. Even when they mean to."

Adam glanced again at Marie's headstone, feeling a quick pain in his heart. "That's true." He sat up. "But mostly they do. Think of all the trips Pa's taken. He always comes back. And - " he paused, not sure this was good news. "I came back."

"After four years." Joe sounded disgusted.

Adam smiled a little. "Well, that's how long college takes." He leaned forward, watching the wind ruffle the lake into ripples in the lowering light. "Joe, I can't promise you that nothing's ever going to happen to me. I can't even promise you that I'll never go away again. Life has a funny way of taking you places you don't expect. But, well - " he shrugged. "I'm here now."

Joe was quiet for a long while. Finally, he picked up a stone and threw it. It skipped in seven beautiful arcs.

Adam smiled. "Show off."

Joe jumped suddenly to his feet and ran up the slope towards Shadow.

Adam climbed to his own feet and followed more slowly.

Joe stopped dead at the sight of the little pinto mare. "Hey! You rode Cochise!"

"Sport had a rough day. And no reason she should miss out on her exercise just because you didn't keep your appointment with her."

Joe looked at him accusingly. "You rode her just to make me mad."

"Maybe." Adam winked at him. "A little. I'd let you ride her back, but there's no way I could manage on that pony."

Joe looked back at Cochise, stroking her nose. "How'd she do?"

"Real well. Playful enough to make it interesting, but on the whole, really well-mannered and considerate. Unlike her owner." Without thinking, he reached down and ruffled Joe's hair.

Joe ducked, but he was grinning. "We'd better get home or Pa'll be mad." He gave Adam his most angelic smile. "At you, on accounta you're the oldest and you're responsible."

Adam shook his head, swinging into the saddle. "You were just born to be hanged, weren't you?"

000

When they reached the ranch and while they took care of the horses Joe teased relentlessly to ride Cochise to school the next day.

Adam was firm that he'd have to wait and take one long ride in his company and get Pa's nod of approval first. He was afraid Joe would go into a sulk, but instead he began to badger for a time and place to take the ride and talk to Pa until Adam was almost ready to do it then and there just to get him to stop. Joe was still pushing for details when Adam shot a look over his shoulder for the third time. He held up a hand to stop Joe's chatter, then cast a frowning glance at the barn door.

"Why don't you go ahead and tell Hop Sing we're ready for dinner, Joe. I'll be right in."

Joe looked at him suspiciously. "What are you waitin' around here for?"

Adam patted his shoulder absently. Somewhere in the back of his mind it registered that this time Joe didn't pull away, but most of his brain was focused on listening to the stealthy sounds he thought he'd detected. "I just want to check something. Go on. I'll be right there." Joe hesitated and Adam gave him a gentle push. "Go on. I'm right behind you."

He waited until he saw Joe was well clear of the door and let his hand rest lightly on his sidearm before calling, "Whoever you are, show yourself."

There was a lengthy pause and a shadowy figure moved in the tack room doorway. Adam narrowed his eyes, trying to identify the outline, then dropped his hand from his gun. "Smokey?"

"Yeah, it's jest me, Mr. Cartwright." Smokey moved into the lantern light looking sheepish and - Adam tilted his head, bemused - happy to see him. No, he corrected himself - not happy, exactly - _relieved_.

"Something I can help you with, Smokey?" _Well, this meant he should probably go over all his gear with a fine-tooth comb before starting out tomorrow._

Smokey flushed, as though he could read his thoughts. "No, sir," he mumbled. "I jest -" he cleared his throat. "No, sir."

Adam almost smiled. "Not worried about me, were you, Smokey?" Smokey scratched awkwardly at his ear, his eyes on the stall opposite. Adam did smile then, a little bitterly. "No need. I'm not that easy to get rid of. Night, Smokey."

He turned his back on Smokey and left the barn, almost tripping over Joe hovering in the dark in front of the porch.

"What are you doing?" he asked in exasperation. "I thought I told you to go inside."

Joe stuck out his lower lip defiantly. "What if you needed help? Was there somebody in the barn?"

"Just Smokey."

"What was he doin'? Why didn't he just yell out he was there?"

"He didn't say," Adam skirted, then smiled for real. "You were watching my back, huh?" Joe shrugged elaborately and Adam's smile broadened into a grin. He gave Joe's hat brim a tweak. "Thanks, buddy," he said lightly. "Let's go in - Hop Sing's probably ready to scalp us as it is."

They entered the house and were indeed met by Hop Sing, obviously worried and relieving his feelings by complaining about dinner being spoiled. "And you still very dirty!" he pointed out to Adam. "Bath before eat!"

Adam removed his hat and kneaded his forehead tiredly. He was famished, but he had to admit Hop Sing had a point. "All right, all right…" he turned Joe to the light to get a better look. "How about you? I guess you're all right. Why don't you go ahead and eat, then. I'll be along." He strolled the short distance to the bathhouse, stretching his tired muscles. He could hear Hop Sing already emptying water into the tub and smiled to himself. He must have kept the water hot for him all this time. Hop Sing pretended to be an implacable tyrant, but he made sure they were well taken care of.

He entered and started to strip his filthy shirt. Next to the tub he noticed a stack of towels and a pile of clean clothes and he paused, touched. Really, he had to think of something nice to do for Hop Sing. He'd forgotten all about something to change into himself. He eased into the tub and gave a sigh of bliss. Forget about dinner – he might just stay here all night. The steam rose in clouds around him and he breathed deeply, letting the difficulties of the day go with it.

"Missa Adam! Missa Adam!"

Adam sat up straight, sloshing now-tepid water out of the tub, surprised to find he'd been asleep. His heart bounded in his chest. "What's wrong, Hop Sing? Joe okay?"

"Everything okay here. You gone long time. Worry YOU not okay. You want eat or not?"

Adam laughed, reaching for a towel. "Yeah, just got a little TOO relaxed, I guess. I'll be right out, Hop Sing."

Adam found his dinner, a little dry, but still hot, set out for him on the table. Joe was in the great room, chomping on a hunk of gingerbread and poking at the fire. Adam glanced at him, thinking that Pa wouldn't approve, but unwilling to fight that particular battle tonight. In fact, if they were going to have bad manners, might as well enjoy them. He picked up the copy of the _Territorial Enterprise_ to read while he ate. Books he may have put aside for the time being, but he was at least going to stay current with the news.

Joe was now setting up the checkerboard and Adam glanced up again as he shook out the paper. "You got homework?" He fully expected resistance, but with a martyred sigh, Joe pulled out his books and opened them on the table in front of the fire.

Adam was deep into an article about the coming elections when Joe piped up. "What's the Rubicon?"

Adam was looking for the next column. "A river."

"Where?"

"Between Italy and Switzerland. Or between what used to be the Gaul provinces and Italy. Depends."

"Then what's Gaul?"

"What's now France, mostly." Adam turned the page, thinking he'd have to ask Al where he got his sources. Usually he was reliable, but this story sounded a little farfetched.

"Did Julius Caesar cross it?"

"Mm." And a little biased. Easy to see which candidate_ The Enterprise _was backing.

"When?"

"Forty-nine B - " Adam stopped, suddenly catching on, eyes still searching the paper. "If you want help I'll help you, but I won't do it for you."

Joe made a face. "It's boring."

Adam lowered the paper and gazed at him, puzzled. "Julius Caesar fought for and won the Gallic provinces for Rome and then decided to run for public office. In order to stop him, his enemy Pompey passed a law that anyone living outside Rome would have to wait five years before running for Roman office. When Caesar objected, Pompey had him declared hostile - leaving him unprotected and open to prosecution by his enemies.

So Caesar either had to stay in Gaul and risk trial and death, or fight and risk being executed for treason. He threatened to march on Rome with his troops. He was warned to stay where he was - that if he crossed the Rubicon to reach Rome it would be considered an act of Civil War. So he stood with his army at the bridge over the Rubicon and gave them a choice – retreat to Gaul and lose their leader, or begin a Civil War and risk losing everything. He knew once they crossed that bridge they'd be considered traitors, subject to death unless they won and established a new government.

The men were loyal to him, and agreed to follow him, no matter the consequences. So he said "_Iacta est alea_" - "let the dice fly" - and crossed the bridge, beginning a Civil War that changed history forever. How can you possibly find that boring?"

Joe gave him his most winning smile. "It sounds more exciting when you tell it. And if I don't do my homework right, Miss Abigail will keep me after school."

Adam rolled his eyes._ Little con artist_. But the smile was hard to refuse and he put down his paper resignedly. "You know, all you have to do is ask. Bring it over here so I can finish eating."

So Joe spread his books and papers out on the dining room table and rested his chin on his arms while Adam racked his brain for the details of Julius Caesar's Civil War. They came easily, once he got going – it was just the kind of story he loved – a man who tried repeatedly to work within the law, generous to his soldiers, merciful to his enemies, using reason, compromise and ingenuity and only falling back on force as a last resort – emerging triumphant to build a new, more civilized realm. He suspected he enjoyed telling it more than Joe did listening to it, but Joe surprised him when he finished by asking thoughtful questions. They both became so involved in Julius and his trials that the striking of the grandfather clock startled them.

Adam gave a low whistle. "You should be in bed."

Joe frowned. "Pa's not home yet."

"Hop Sing said he'd be late. And if he comes home and finds you still up he's going to kill us – or me, anyway, as you so thoughtfully pointed out earlier."

"Maybe I could run up to bed as soon as I hear him?"

"Joe - " Adam suddenly remembered their earlier conversation and checked his temper. "What if I send him up to say good night when he gets home?" he finished more mildly.

Joe looked like he wanted to argue, but after a minute he shrugged and headed for the stairs. At the landing he stopped and turned around "'Night, Adam."

"'Night, buddy." Adam watched him take the rest of the stairs, then picked up _The Enterprise_ again, settling down on the couch. Maybe he'd actually get to finish reading something.

_TBC_

_Ah, drmweaver, I'm afraid you're right - things get worse for Adam before they get better, though a few things improve. Stay tuned._


	9. Chapter 9

_**Chapter 9**_

"Adam. Adam, son. _Adam_."

Adam jumped awake to see his father's face. He rubbed at his eyes, trying to orient himself, saw he was still holding a crumpled copy of _The Territorial Enterprise_. "Guess I didn't finish it," he said huskily.

Ben smiled. "Don't you think you'd be more comfortable in bed?"

Adam pushed himself into sitting position. "Yeah. You just get home?"

Ben nodded, still kneeling by the sofa. "Joe give you any trouble?"

Adam shook his head. "Positively saintly. I promised him you'd go up and say good night." He stood, stretching and yawning. "How'd it go with the railroad men?"

Ben pushed up from his knees. "All right. I bought us two more days before the penalty clause kicks in. Not perfect, but every little bit helps. What had Joseph on his best behavior?"

"I'm guessing he wants you to say it's okay for him to start riding Cochise to school."

Ben raised his eyebrows. "She ready?"

Adam nodded. "I think so. I told him he had to take one long ride with me and then ask you first. You want to come with us and see for yourself?"

"No, if you say it's all right, I believe you." He cleared his throat. "Guess I'll look in on Joseph and turn in. Think you'd better do the same."

Adam nodded, thinking he ought to tell him about Joe and his anxiety whenever one of them went away and his predicament with the ranch hands, but his brain was fuzzy and Ben looked exhausted. Ben cleared his throat again and Adam looked at him more closely. "You okay, Pa?"

"Fine, son. Throat's a little scratchy - probably all that talking I did tonight. Let's call it a day."

000

Adam rose early the next morning and did the barn chores alone, hoping for an uninterrupted opportunity to fill Ben in on his problems and his conversation with Joe, but when he came in from the barn a look at his father sent it out of his head. "You're _not _okay," he said abruptly.

Ben rubbed irritably at his neck. "Throat's a little sore - probably the night air, or I could be starting a cold." Adam reached out to feel his forehead and Ben suppressed a smile at the reversal of roles. "Well, doctor?" he asked politely.

"Slight fever. Let me see your throat."

Ben grumbled. "Now, Adam - "

"If you want to convince me you're okay, let me look."

Ben looked cross, but opened his mouth.

Adam's face was unsmiling. "Pretty red," he said slowly. "And I don't like this swelling under your chin. Why don't you go back to bed? I'll tell Joe to send Doc Martin back this way before he goes to school."

"This is ridiculous. I have to get to the lumber camp."

"Look, Pa, you keep telling me how good this guy Knox is - he ought to be able to handle things for a couple of days. It may be nothing, but I'd like the Doc to tell us that. If he says okay then I'll leave you in peace."

Ben waffled. Deep inside, the thought of bed sounded pretty good. "You should be out on the range," he said finally. "Especially with Hoss away."

"I'll tell Smokey what needs doing. He can take care of things for the morning. Once the Doc's come and gone and you're settled I'll join him." He hoped he sounded more confident than he felt, groaning inwardly at the thought of having to ask Smokey to go above and beyond the call of duty, wondering what new havoc he'd be able to wreak in his absence. Well, Smokey would probably be glad to be rid of him, even for a morning. "I'll go wake up Joe. He's going to have to start a little early." He gave his father a gentle push toward the stairs. "Go back to bed. I'll tell Hop Sing to bring you something for your throat." He watched Ben to be sure he went upstairs, then went into the kitchen to talk to Hop Sing before heading upstairs himself to wake Joe.

Joe was snuggled deep under the covers, looking so peacefully asleep that Adam was loathe to disturb him, but he reached down resolutely and shook his shoulder. "Come on, buddy. Time to get up." Joe groaned and buried his face in the pillow. "Come on, Joe. Breakfast is ready and I need you to run an errand for me before school."

Joe opened one eye and glared at him. "What errand?"

"I need you to stop by Doc Martin's. Ask him to come out."

Joe sat up at that, rubbing his face. "How come? What's wrong?"

Adam hesitated. "Pa's got a little sore throat. Thought the Doc should have a look."

Joe swung his legs over the side of the bed. "Pa's sick?"

"Probably nothing. Just thought it would be better to be sure. Get dressed and come to breakfast. Don't forget to wash your face."

Joe sat staring at him.

Adam cuffed him lightly on the arm. "I'm sure it's nothing. But the sooner you get going and get the Doc the sooner we'll know for sure."

"Can I come back with the Doc?"

"You have school."

Joe's lower lip thrust out.

"What would you do around here all day anyway? Pa's going to be in bed, I've got to get out on the range, Hop Sing's going to have his hands full and all your friends are in school. Besides," he winked at him. "Think of how impressed Miss Abigail will be with your homework."

Joe didn't smile. "Can I see Pa?"

Adam sighed. "You'd better not, Joe, until we know it's not contagious." He saw the stubborn set of Joe's jaw. "I don't have time to argue with you this morning, Joe. Just do what I say, okay?" He waited until Joe actually stood and began to dress before heading back downstairs and out to the bunkhouse to talk to Smokey.

Smokey took Adam's news in silence, nodding briefly at his instructions. Adam couldn't decide whether this was a good sign or was going to mean more trouble later and right now he didn't much care - by the time he had laid out a plan for Smokey, sent a messenger up to the lumber camp, checked on his father, given Hop Sing a hand and bundled a protesting Joe off to school, he felt as though he'd put in a full day. Joe had argued hard to ride Cochise. Failing that, he had tried to extract a promise from Adam to take him for his final test ride after school.

Adam had given a distracted look towards the staircase and shaken his head. "I can't promise, Joe, but I'll do my best. Don't forget Doc Martin. Oh, and Joe - " Joe looked up woefully. "Do me another favor. Don't be kept after today?"

Joe nodded listlessly, dragging his feet all the way to the barn.

Adam looked after him with some misgiving. Maybe he should have let him come back with the doctor, but he couldn't imagine trying to keep track of Joe on top of everything else. Frowning to himself, he went up the stairs to sit with his father until the doctor came, his feet dragging almost as much as Joe's.

000

Adam paced restlessly in the hall, waiting for Doc Martin to finish his examination. He looked up hopefully as the doctor exited Ben's room, pulling the door softly closed behind him. His heart plummeted at the sight of the doctor's face. "What is it?" he asked tensely.

Dr. Martin pursed his lips. "Let's go downstairs."

That sent Adam's heart back up into his throat. "What is it?" he repeated anxiously as they reached the landing. "It's not good news, is it?"

The doctor made himself comfortable on the sofa and indicated for Adam to seat himself also.

Adam shook his head and remained standing.

Hop Sing had set out a tray with a coffee service, and Dr. Martin poured himself a cup.

Adam grit his teeth to keep himself from shaking information out of their old family friend.

"Adam, what do you know about diphtheria?"

"Diphtheria?" Adam rubbed his forehead. "Not a lot. I know there have been epidemics…that a lot of people have…" he choked a little, unable to finish the sentence. "Is that what Pa has?"

Dr. Martin nodded. "I think so." He stirred his coffee, choosing his words with care. "I treated a man - a drifter - a couple of days ago - for diphtheria, as it turns out. Your father gave me a hand. He has all the symptoms - low grade fever, swollen lymph nodes, sore throat with a membrane beginning to form on it. It's a highly contagious illness. The man I treated had had a fight with someone the night before - that man is down with it, too. Unfortunately, he tended bar at the Bucket of Blood Saturday night to help pay off his debts to Sam, so who knows how many people he might have passed it to. Cases are beginning to crop up all over Virginia City. We may be headed for a full scale epidemic ourselves."

Adam leaned back against the fireplace, suddenly feeling the need for support. "Is it fatal?" he managed finally.

"Sometimes. But certainly not always. Most often in children, so Joe should avoid contact with your father. Early detection is vital, so I'm glad you sent for me so quickly."

Adam nodded, his brain racing. "I sent Joe to school in Virginia City. Should I have him come home?"

"I don't think so. I'm being cautious, but I'm not ready to jump to any conclusions yet. The gestation period is two to four days. If any of you have caught it from your father we'll see the signs soon."

"Hoss is in Carson City. Could he be sick?"

"It's possible. Let me know where he's staying and I'll wire the doctor there to check with him. Don't need this thing spreading any further than possible. But you should especially keep an eye on anyone who was in town Saturday night. Any of the hands?"

Adam nodded. "Just about all of them."

"What about the lumber crew?"

"No. Pa had them on extra duty Saturday to meet a tight contract deadline - and he hasn't been up there since Friday. So probably they're all right."

"Good. There are things we can do to keep it from spreading. Avoid unnecessary contact. Scrub this house from top to bottom with lye or borax - wash any blankets your father's come in contact with. Keep a bucket of water and lye soap in his room and wash your hands every time you leave - you and Hop Sing. I'll write down instructions for your father's care. The illness itself is less deadly than the complications that result from poor or late care - toxins build up in the system that can result in heart or lung damage."

Adam paced in front of the fireplace. "Doc, I have a lot of cattle to move and now a lumber contract to meet. Is there anyone in town you can recommend to come out and help nurse Pa?"

Dr. Martin put down his coffee cup with care. "Usually, Adam, there would be - but with people dropping like flies we have a makeshift hospital set up in the church and all our volunteers there have their hands full."

Adam nodded wordlessly.

"You could move Ben into town - " suggested the doctor tentatively.

Adam shook his head. "No. Too long a trip and - Pa will just feel better if he's here. Guess Hop Sing and I will manage."

"It's a lot of work, Adam." Dr. Martin's voice was kind.

Adam shrugged with a nonchalance he was far from feeling. "We'll be fine. Show me what we have to do for Pa."

"All right, but first I'm going to check you and Hop Sing for any symptoms. And show you how to check Joe when he comes home. I'll be out again tomorrow to have another look at Ben."

_TBC_

_You're right, drmweaver. Adam will have a number of metaphorical Rubicons, both personal and professional, to cross before he's done._


	10. Chapter 10

_**Chapter 10**_

Adam and Hop Sing spent the morning taking turns scrubbing the house down and sitting with Ben. A little after noon Adam decided he'd better get out to the range and see how things were going - he stopped for one last look in his father's room first. Ben seemed to be resting quietly, still not much of a fever, but now that Adam knew that was a symptom of the disease it was poor comfort. He was about to make his way stealthily out again when Ben's voice, raspy with illness, stopped him.

"Adam."

Adam turned back to sit on the edge of the chair by the bed. "Hey, Pa. How ya feeling?"

Ben shifted uncomfortably and cleared his throat. "I've felt worse. What did Paul say?"

Adam hesitated, then decided truth was the best. "He says you have diphtheria. Says you helped him with some drifter in town Saturday who turned out to have it."

Ben grunted at the memory. "Barely touched the man. Contagious?"

"Doc says so."

"Then what are you doing in here?"

"Pa, somebody has to be in here. Doc Martin gave Hop Sing and me all kinds of instructions to keep from catching it or spreading it. We're being real careful."

Ben nodded, but he didn't look pleased. "Had some outbreaks in New England when I was a boy, now that I think about it. Lot of children were lost. Where's your brother?"

"School. Don't worry. He won't be coming in here." Ben nodded his approval, twisting his neck, trying to get comfortable. Adam watched him. "Can I get you something? Water? Some of Hop Sing's tea?"

"No, no…" Ben remembered something. "Shouldn't you be out on the range?"

"I'm heading there now. As soon as I make sure that you're comfortable."

Ben gave a snort of laughter. "I don't expect to be comfortable for some time to come, so don't let me hold you up." Adam smiled a little and Ben studied his face broodingly. "Got your hands full, haven't you?"

Adam looked up, surprised.

"Me. Joe. The ranch. The lumber contract."

Adam straightened his shoulders and gave him his half smile. "Now, I've got that all figured out. I'm going out to check on the range now. Hoss will be back by tomorrow night and then he'll take over the range and I'll take over the lumber camps. That'll leave most of the nursing to Hop Sing until evening, then Hoss and I can help out. Joe's in school most of the day, so that shouldn't be a problem. So you see? There's nothing to worry about. You just take it easy and get better."

"Hmph." Despite his discomfort, Ben's eyes twinkled a little. "Your brothers always told me you were bossy."

Adam laughed. "Good. Then let me be the boss for a while. You get some rest." He reached out to touch his father's hand, but Ben gestured him away irritably.

"Careful! Don't touch me unless you have to. It's bad enough that you're in here at all."

Adam held up his hands. "Yes, sir. I'll see you tonight. Hop Sing will be in to check on you." He strode to the door, washing his hands elaborately for his father's benefit in the bucket there and drying them thoroughly.

Ben nodded his approval.

Adam went downstairs to talk to Hop Sing about making sure that Joe stayed away from Pa, then headed to the barn to saddle Sport.

Despite everything, it felt good to be outdoors and in the saddle. Adam didn't make his way to meet with any of the crews right away. Instead he rode from point to point, covering places where they had already been, making sure nothing had been left undone. Part of his brain was still back with his father and part of it jumping ahead, trying to plan a time to go over that lumber contract and familiarize himself with the job. He was looking forward to Hoss's return - and not only for the extra pair of hands, though heaven knew they would be helpful right now. No, even more he was longing for his brother's sunny, even disposition and willing, patient support. He wasn't nearly so confident about the task before him as he had pretended to his father and Hoss had an uncanny knack for making him feel as though there was nothing he couldn't do if he tried.

His eyes swept the length of fence on his right. So far, at least, it seemed that Smokey was keeping things in line and the hands were completing jobs in good order. Maybe they were tiring of the game, or maybe it was a time-out until his father was well, but either way, he was grateful. He was just breathing a sigh of relief when he saw about a dozen head of cattle wandering contentedly on the wrong side of the fence. He pulled Sport up abruptly. There was an enormous mud hole on that side that the fence was meant to separate them from. Picturing drowned animals, broken legs or a long, exhausting rescue mission in the mud, he spurred Sport through the broken, trampled section of fence after them.

Almost immediately he could see that his worst fears were realized - half in and half out of the mud hole, one steer was lowing pitifully, struggling to pull himself up, only to fall back further. Unfortunately, the other cattle didn't seem to be learning from his example, and two or three wandered around the hole curiously.

He drove straight at them, hoping to drive them away without scaring them in. They scattered in every direction. He rode in a sweeping circle, moving them forward and together, then toward the hole in the fence. As the last one disappeared through it he leapt off Sport and pulled the broken pieces together in a makeshift repair.

_There. That would at least take care of them while he attended to the one in the mud hole. _

He climbed back on Sport and reached for his lariat, spinning it in an easy circle and dropping it over the steer's horns. He fastened the other end around the pommel of his saddle and backed Sport up. For a minute, the steer seemed to get some purchase with his front legs and almost broke free. Then the edge of the bank crumbled and he slid, wailing, back into the mud.

Adam took a deep, resigned breath. "Just determined that I'm going to get in there with you, aren't you?"

He dismounted and unfastened the rope from Sport's pommel, ground-tying Sport and fastening the rope around a nearby tree before striding to the edge of the hole to have a look.

The dry weather had left the mud thick and turgid. The steer was definitely going to need a boost. Irritated, he stripped off his chaps and threw them to the side, then waded in. The mud sucked at him, dragging him up to his thighs before he managed to position himself_. _

Hope _**I **_can get out of here, he thought grimly, then pushed with all his might, talking to the animal all the time. The beast scrabbled for dry ground then slid back, pushing Adam deeper.

Swearing steadily, Adam settled himself to try again. "All right, fella - let's give it one more go."

It wasn't one more go: Adam lost count of how many times he repositioned himself, driven deeper into the muck each time, mud oozing into the tops of his boots and seeping into the seams of his clothing until finally, with a horrible sucking sound, the mud let go and the steer clambered onto dry land.

Adam took a little longer to drag himself free, pausing to scrape off the worst of the mess then reopening the hole in the fence and untying the steer to drive him through, following with Sport. He fumbled in his saddlebags for a few tools to repair the hole, seething as he studied it.

Any repair would only be temporary - the whole section needed to be replaced. It was one of the things someone was supposed to be seeing to today - Deever, maybe? Adam decided that he'd had just about enough.

He'd been willing to undergo his initiation if they felt it was necessary, but now it had to stop. His father was ill, his brother was out of town and he had neither the time or the patience for childish nonsense. As soon as the hole was patched sufficiently he'd head back to the ranch and have a talk with Deever - or knock his head off - whichever seemed more effective. He gave the wire a final, savage twist and yanked himself away from the fence, drawing his breath in sharply through his teeth as he caught his arm on a piece of shredded wire. He stared a moment at the line of beaded blood along his inner arm, then dabbed away the mud and blood with his bandanna.

_Only a scratch._ _And that was the price of losing your temper_. _Grandfather would be pleased._

He dropped to the ground, suddenly deflated, and buried his head in his arms. For a few minutes he allowed himself to sit quietly, overwhelmed with worry for his father and the conflicting responsibilities of keeping the Ponderosa operating, then he lifted his head, running his hand over his face.

_All right. That was enough of that._ He had a lot to do and he wasn't quite sure how he'd manage it, but there were people counting on him so he'd find a way, that's all_._

Wearily, he climbed to his feet and remounted Sport, glancing at the sun. By this time the crews were making their way back to the ranch anyway. He'd meet them there and they could have a nice, long talk about the fence.

By the time he rode into the yard he had any number of tart speeches worked out, but the sight of Clyde standing on the porch, clearly waiting for him, sent them all out of his head. Clyde came forward as he dismounted and took Sport's reins from him, further puzzling him.

"Deever took sick out on the range, Mr. Cartwright," he explained, his eyes anxious. "Smokey ain't lookin' too good neither."

Adam felt his heart skip a beat. "Where are they, the bunkhouse?"

Clyde nodded.

Adam hurried toward the bunkhouse, leaving Sport in Clyde's hands. All heads swiveled in his direction as he entered, except for Deever, who lay on his bunk unmoving and breathing with difficulty. Another hand, Frank Parkins, was trying to get him to drink some water.

Adam moved him gently out of the way. "Let me take a look."

He gave Deever the examination Dr. Martin had taught him to use on Joe, feeling under his chin and looking down his throat and feeling his forehead. Deever answered his questions only faintly. "Smokey?"

Smokey was sitting on the edge of his bunk, looking miserable but stubborn. "I ain't feelin' so bad."

"Good. Let me have a look and I'll give you a clean bill of health."

Glowering, Smokey stood and walked over to stand in front of Adam.

Adam felt the warmth coming off of his skin and the lumps just beginning to form under his jaw. He glanced around at the other men. "Anybody else?"

No one answered.

Adam felt the thin remains of his patience beginning to give way. "Look, if you're sick, I'll see to it that you're still paid, but you've got to tell me. Doc Martin says that diphtheria is going around - it's highly contagious, so we don't need any heroes. If you're sick and you don't say so, you're not only endangering yourself, you're endangering every man in here. If you don't feel well, tell me now. I'll look down every one of your throats, if that's what it takes."

"I think the rest of us is fine, Mr. Cartwright," Frank Parkins spoke up. "You want we should get Smokey and Deever to the Doc?"

Adam shook his head impatiently, looking around at the bunkhouse layout. _No doors or partitions, everything completely open._ "No. It's too far for sick men. But I would like someone to go fetch Doc Martin. See if you can get him to come back tonight. If not, he'll be along tomorrow morning. Somebody else get Smokey and Deever in the house and tell Hop Sing what's happened. He'll get them settled.

We're going to have to scrub this place down. Every inch, before we do anything else. The blankets will have to be washed, too. When you see Hop Sing, tell him - never mind. I'll tell him. You start pulling blankets off the beds."

They were all staring at him silently.

_Now what was this all about?_ "I know you've had a long day," he tried, fighting to curb his impatience. _Couldn't they see how serious this was?_ "and usually Hop Sing would take care of this, but he'll be taking care of my father and Smokey and Deever. I think we can all agree that that's more important."

Still no one said anything, and he turned to see Clyde entering. "You, Clyde. Ride to Virginia City for the doctor. Somebody else give Smokey and Deever a hand and come with me."

Despite his urgency, Adam glanced down at his jeans, covered with now-dried mud, and batted at them distractedly. He'd be lucky if Hop Sing even let him in the door. He ushered Smokey and Deever and their escorts ahead of him and compromised by standing in the doorway and leaning on the frame. "Hop Sing?"

Hop Sing bustled in from the kitchen. "You no say when you want suppa. You - "

"Very dirty. Yeah, I know. Hop Sing, Smokey and Deever here have what Pa has - can you get them bedded down? Use the guest room with the two beds - it'll be easier for nursing. Then we're going to need rags and every scrub brush and mop you've got and a whole lot of hot water. Lye and borax again. We have to do the same thing to the bunkhouse that we did to the house. I'll start the laundry tub, too. I'll be back in to see how many spare blankets we have. If we wash these they'll never be dry before morning.

I sent somebody for Doc Martin - let me know when he gets here. Where's Joe?"

Hop Sing accepted the catalogue of duties without blinking. "Little Joe fine, but restless. In bedroom. Nobody to talk to."

Adam stood up straight in alarm. "He hasn't been in to see Pa, has he?"

"No, but not easy."

Adam massaged the tightening muscles at the back of his neck. He knew Joe must be worried and at loose ends, but he had no idea what he could do about it right now. He had to take care of the bunkhouse first. Letting Joe help would only expose him needlessly and he's promised his father he wouldn't do that. "Feed him, when you get a chance, will you? I hate to have him eat alone, but I may be awhile. And keep him away from these fellows, too. Tell him I'll be in to help him with his homework as soon as I can. Maybe he could collect the cleaning stuff for you - that should be safe enough and keep him out of mischief for a while."

Hop Sing nodded, indicating for the hands to follow him. Adam turned his attention to the bath house, starting a fire under the laundry tub and hauling buckets of water. Wood was looking a little low, too - no wonder with all this washing. That would be another good job for Joe. He wouldn't love it, but maybe it would keep his mind off of Pa.

By the time he had the laundry tub full there was a good collection of buckets, rags, mops and brushes assembled on the front porch.

God Bless Hop Sing_,_ thought Adam.

He picked up as many as he could carry and went to arrange his cleaning crew.

000

By the time the bunkhouse and every bunk and blanket had been scrubbed it was pitch dark and Adam had lost track of the time. The hands had been cooperative, though quiet, helping him scrub down the floor and walls and hang steaming blankets out to dry without comment. Adam wished he knew what they were thinking, but it hadn't seemed like a hostile quiet, so he let it pass. Probably just worn out and worried, like , after today, he didn't care of he never saw another scrub brush.

He made his way to the ranch house slowly, feeling stiff and tired, but that at least things were somewhat in hand.

Hop Sing met him at the door. "Bath ready," he said pointedly.

"Oh, Hop Sing - " usually he loved a bath, but this evening it just sounded like effort.

"Take bath. Feel better. Kill sickness."

Well, that was certainly hard to argue with. After all that time in the bunkhouse it would be safer to bathe before going inside. "All right. Thanks. How's Joe holding up?"

"Little Joe fine. Him unhappy, but him fine."

"Tell him I'll be right there, okay?"

The bath looked inviting, but he sternly told himself to keep it short. Joe had been left to his own devices long enough and he still needed to check on Pa. Should look in on Smokey and Deever, too. Thank God Hoss would be back tomorrow - he would be the perfect one to keep Joe busy and out of mischief. He sighed as the warm water enveloped him, then hissed with pain as it stung the scratch on his arm. He should put something on that, too. Briskly, he scrubbed away the mud and dust in short order and reached for a towel.

When he entered, feeling clean but weary, Joe was waiting for him. "Can you help me with my homework?"

Adam hesitated, glancing at the staircase. He was longing to check on his father and set his mind at rest - his fear had been like a gnawing, consistent ache in the back of his brain all day - but Hop Sing would have told him if there had been any change and Joe had been abandoned for too long already. Resolutely, he turned away from the stairs. "Sure thing. What is it tonight, Caesar again?"

Hop Sing appeared from the kitchen with a plate in his hand. "Suppa," he said firmly, as though anticipating an argument. "You eat."

Adam looked at the plate with distaste. Eating just seemed like one more thing to be done in an already overcrowded day.

Hop Sing must have read his expression because he repeated. "Eat. No get sick too."

Well, if Hop Sing had found time to fix supper given the day he'd had, the least Adam could do was find time to eat it. He nodded tiredly. "Fine. Joe, bring your books."

Adam talked his way through Caesar's early realm while he ate, Joe looking gloomy but attentive. When they finished history, Adam studied him, wishing he could think of some way to cheer him up. "What else?"

"Spelling. I hate spelling. It's boring."

Adam grinned. "I'll admit I never found a way to make spelling interesting myself. Let's see what you've got."

Joe pushed a list of words across the table to him. "There's lemon pie for dessert," he suggested tentatively.

Adam couldn't have felt less like dessert, but Joe actually seemed a little animated, so he said, "Can't imagine how Hop Sing found time to make a pie. Is it good?"

Joe shrugged. "Haven't had mine yet. Thought maybe…" he trailed off.

It reminded Adam of Pa saving his dessert to eat with him and for a second he had to look down and concentrate hard on the plate in front of him. He cleared his throat carefully. "Why don't you go tell Hop Sing we're ready for dessert?" he managed finally. _If forcing down a piece of lemon pie would make both Joe and Hop Sing happy, it was a small enough price to pay. _

Joe scrambled off to the kitchen while Adam tried to resist the urge to put his head down on the table and go to sleep. Joe hurried back with two pieces of pie and the announcement that Hop Sing would be in with coffee.

"Great." Now that _did_ sound good. "Did you get together the cleaning supplies for the bunkhouse? Did a good job." Joe looked a little happier and stuck his finger in his meringue. Adam looked at him. "Use a fork, Joe."

Joe scowled. "How come I can't see Pa?"

"Because he's very contagious right now."

"YOU see him."

"Well, Pa's not too happy about that either, but somebody's got to nurse him, and k - people your age - are more susceptible. Both Dr. Martin and Pa said specifically that you should stay out." Joe's scowl deepened and he poked patterns in his pie with his fork. "Look, there's nothing for you to worry about. I know it's been a rough day for all of us, but tomorrow's bound to be easier. Pa will be feeling better soon and then you can visit him."

Joe ate some of his pie, staring at him. "YOU'RE worried."

Adam chuckled tiredly. "Well, I'm a natural worrier." That time Joe actually smiled a little. "Let's hear your spelling, then it's time you were in bed."

It was another hour before Adam actually had Joe settled for the night and thought he'd finally have a chance to look in on his father. He was just heading for Ben's room when he heard a knock on the front door and groaned involuntarily before remembering that he'd sent someone for the doctor. He hurried to the door and made out Clyde standing there. The light from the door showed he was alone. "Sorry, Mr. Cartwright," he said without preamble. "Doc couldn't come. Sorry I took so long, but I waited quite a spell fer 'em. He sent you this here med'cin and instructions and said he'd be by first thing tomorra."

Adam took the bottle and the note gratefully. "Thanks, Clyde. And thanks for making the trip."

Clyde looked for a minute like he wanted to say something.

Adam raised his eyebrows questioningly. "Why don't you come in? Hop Sing made coffee."

Clyde hesitated, then shook his head. "Thanks, but I better be turnin' in. Night, Mr. Cartwright." He touched his hat to him and was gone.

Adam shrugged. Skimming the instructions, he headed finally for the stairs and his father.

000

Adam sat up in bed, not sure what had woken him. He listened for a minute. The house seemed quiet.

_Nerves_, he told himself, rolling over. But despite the rugged day, sleep seemed far away now. Well, as long as he was awake he might as well make himself useful – he threw back the covers and reached for his dressing gown, padding down the hall in the direction of the guest rooms.

Hop Sing had left a lantern burning low. Smokey and Deever seemed to be sleeping in relative comfort. He didn't like the sound of Deever's breathing, but he didn't seem to be in any immediate danger – he could tell Doc Martin about it in the morning.

He left the door cracked and made his way down the hall to Joe's room. Half of Joe's covers were kicked off and dragging on the floor, his head buried deep in the pillow.

Adam smiled to himself. He couldn't remember a night since he was born that Joe didn't need his covers replaced for him. He cautiously untangled them, smoothing them out and pulling them up to his neck, careful not to wake him.

Since Joe wasn't able to object, he let himself stroke his head for a minute. _Poor kid. This was tough on him. Pa sick. Hoss away. No doubt Joe considered him a poor substitute. He needed to find a way to spend more time with him tomorrow. Well, by then Hoss could be a help._ Giving a final smooth to the covers, he eased Joe's door closed behind him and headed next door to check on his father.

He'd checked him before going to bed, but he felt Ben's forehead again anyway.

Warm, but not hot. His breathing was starting to sound a little labored, too.

Adam sat down in the chair by the bed and stretched his legs in front of him. He felt more relaxed here in his father's company. He leaned his head against the chair back and tried to plan his day tomorrow. Down two more men - and one was the foreman. Wasn't going to be easy. What would happen if he appointed Hoss to stand in for Smokey? Would they give him an even harder time than they had Adam himself? He grimaced at the thought. But he had to have a look at that lumber contract and ride up to the camp to check on things - not tomorrow, but the next day. He'd left them too long already. _Hope this guy Knox is everything Pa says he is._

He let his eyes sink closed. Be nice if he could take Joe out with Cochise, but chances were it wouldn't be possible. Maybe Hoss would be able to manage it. That should cheer Joe up anyway.

He realized he was drifting and sat up straight, just stopping himself from rubbing his eyes.

_Wash hands first_, he reminded himself sternly. And if he fell asleep in here they'd skin him alive - first Pa, then Hop Sing, then Joe for doing exactly what he'd ordered _him_ not to do, then Pa again. With a sigh he rose to his feet.

"Night, Pa," he said softly, then washed his hands carefully before leaving.

_End of Part I_

_**January 2000**_

_**Yes, Tauna and Drmweaver, both Adam and Ben have a tough road ahead. Which is one reason I'm glad you said you liked that I didn't do quick fixes, drmweaver - I don't know how to do that and make sense to myself, so it doesn't happen in Part II either.**_


End file.
